What is overthinking, and how can you stop your mind from becoming overactive? This new episode will help you discover simple ways to handle overthinking and anxious thoughts effectively. Ready to learn how to stop overthinking so much? Then let’s talk! 😃
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What is overthinking and why do our minds become overactive sometimes, affecting our mental health? And can you learn how to handle overthinking and anxious thoughts effectively?
If you want to discover how to finally overcome overthinking then you’ve come to the right place… because that’s what I’m talking about this week here on Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes mental health simple.
Ready to reduce overthinking with some effective mental health strategies? Then, get comfortable and let’s talk!
Hello and welcome to Episode 236 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks for joining me as I talk about how to stop overthinking so much!
I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this isn’t your regular podcast full of interviews and random opinions. I’m a mental health counsellor and writer, and each week I look at one specific aspect of better mental health and I share simple and practical tips you can apply immediately, all based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life.
In this episode I’ll be talking about what overthinking is and how it impacts you, why dealing with overthinking head-on is important, and how to conquer overthinking.
So, let’s talk!
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I can be prone to a bit of overthinking every now and then, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be; I mean… I spent a bit too long obsessing over whether or not to revisit this topic, which I covered in Episode 4 all the way back in late 2019 when I was barely out of the starting gates with this podcast and had absolutely no idea what I was doing. But, after a few minutes of second-guessing myself, I chose to let go and follow my instincts and go ahead with revisiting this topic (especially since that original episode only had a few practical suggestions, whereas now I have a lot more tools that help me to keep my overthinking under control — and I’ll share those with you in a bit). The fact that, over the past four and a half years, I’ve been able to really reduce the amount of overthinking that I do is testament to just how much you can take control of challenges like this by putting in place simple practices that, over time, help you to cope better with this sort of thing… so I’m looking forward to hearing how these techniques work for you!
First, let’s get ourselves on the same page with some definitions and let’s talk about…
What is overthinking?
OK, so overthinking is when you think about something too much or for too long (and that comes from the Oxford Dictionary), and it’s like getting caught up in a kind of spiral of negative thoughts like doubts, fears, or worries (generally about your current situation or the future). It also describes what’s known as ‘rumination’, when you go over and over something that’s happened in the past.
The problem with overthinking, in case you need me to state the obvious here, is that it’s exhausting; you get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts and it becomes progressively more and more emotionally draining and stressful (not to mention the fact that it can suck up all your energy and attention, and make it hard to focus on anything else).
And then — and this is the real kick in the shins, mentally speaking — overthinking can very often keep you stuck in problem-mode, meaning that all you can see is the problem or issue you’re focused on, so it can become almost impossible to start identifying potential solutions or to allow more rational and logical thoughts about the situation to enter your train of thought (for example, overthinking might lead your mind to decide that a situation is a total catastrophe… and it may seem like no amount of effort to convince it otherwise will work, even if it turns out that your mind has just taken the idea of a highly-remote worst-case scenario and blown it out of all proportion).
Look, our brains can be a bit melodramatic sometimes; your brain thinks it’s trying to keep you safe, but when you’re highly-stressed (or dealing with a mental health condition like anxiety) it can get stuck in a cycle of seeing danger in everything and everyone so it ends up inventing the most outrageous possibilities to torment you with, or it goes through your memories and finds that thing you did in 2002 that you still cringe over and it reminds you of it repeatedly (usually at 2 in the morning!)… but I promise you that it’s just your brain trying to keep you safe, even if it’s going a messed-up way about it (and shortly I’ll talk about how to manage that, so you can talk your mind down when it’s bouncing around like a manic monkey).
There are a few different types of thinking that are commonly associated with overthinking, such as black-or-white thinking (or all-or-nothing thinking), overgeneralising, should-based thinking, filtering, jumping to conclusions, perfectionism (which I covered in Episode 98), and catastrophising (where your mind usually goes straight to the worst-case scenario, especially in stressful situations; and, by the way, I covered catastrophising in Episode 157).
OK, so now let’s talk about…
Why dealing with overthinking head-on is important
And, I mean, of course it’s important! Because if you just let your mind run rampant, worrying about what the future may or may not hold or ruminating over what that conversation with that person last week really meant, well… your brain just might explode. I mean, not actually explode (so don’t worry, no physical mess to clean up!) but figuratively-speaking it can feel like it’s going to explode, or that you’re going to become completely overwhelmed by the weight of all of these thoughts… so you may wind up with a whole mental mess that needs cleaning up.
For example, overthinking can make it hard to move forward in situations because you can end up in ‘analysis paralysis’ where you get stuck in analysing the pros and cons of a situation (or trying to figure out the ‘right’ thing to do, or what the possible outcomes might be) and so you can end up frozen, unable to take any action at all.
Or you may find that you hold yourself back from trying new things or meeting new people because you’re worried about what other people will say about you, and so that worry can potentially grow and grow until it becomes all-consuming (and the more you give in to those kinds of worries, the more they then tend to become a self-fulfilling prophecy; for example, you avoid stepping out of your comfort zone, which then makes it harder to do if and when you have to, which then sends you deeper into staying in your comfort zone). So… instead of letting fear and worry become overwhelming and controlling, the focus here is ideally about learning how to manage it instead of letting it run rampant.
And then the other reason why you need to tackle overthinking head-on is that negative thought patterns can build over time and lead you to feel less optimistic and more cynical or pessimistic about yourself, or even about the world. Plus if you live with a mental health disorder, like anxiety or depression, overthinking can actually make those conditions worse, or at the very least make it hard to find the strength necessary to work on making positive improvements in your life.
So, aside from all of that, let’s just cut to the heart of the matter and talk about the fact that overthinking is unproductive, unhelpful, and unnecessary. No amount of going over things that have already happened will change the reality of whatever happened, so all you can do is deal with it and learn what you need to learn. And as for those worries about the future… well, the future is both unknown and unknowable, and it’s created by the actions you take here in the present, and so the likelihood of whatever you’re stressing about actually happening is probably so low that you’d have more chance of having your leg eaten by a shark on dry land while you’re being hit by a bus and struck by lightning at the same time as winning the lottery! Most of the things we worry about just never come true… and in the incredibly-remote chance that they do, well, you’ll figure out how to deal with them if and when they do.
Worry and rumination take you away from living fully here in the present moment, and this moment is the only one that you have for certain; this is where life is lived… not in some possible future 20 years from now, not in some memory from last decade, but here, now. Learning how to overcome overthinking is about consciously choosing to return your focus to the present moment so that you can live it fully and make the most of it.
So, how do you do that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…
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And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about…
How to conquer overthinking
OK, first, use the ‘Pause, Breathe, What, Why’ technique — and this is something I’ve shared in previous episodes of this podcast, and it’s about calming your mind so you can think rationally. Just by way of brief explanation, often when your brain is overthinking it’s in a sort-of overdrive mode (especially when your emotions are heightened, like feeling stressed and anxious) and so the overthinking can feed into that and keep the cycle going and going, picking up more speed as it does; in order to break that cycle, you need to break that cycle… because you’re not thinking rationally when that’s happening. Using the Pause, Breathe, What, Why technique helps to calm your nervous system and make space for your rational mind to join the chat so that you can look at things more logically. So, when you notice you’re in overthinking mode I want you to consciously Pause and recognise that you’re overthinking, stop whatever you’re doing and just gently Breathe for 15 to 20 seconds (longer if you can; also, close your eyes while you’re doing it, if it’s safe to do so), then when you feel your body slowly calming I want you to label What you’re feeling (the specific emotions) and then consider Why you’re feeling that way (focus on what’s going on within you rather than what someone else is doing; for example, if you feel triggered by someone’s reckless driving on the road, ask yourself why that’s so triggering at this particular moment). This whole process only takes 20 or 30 seconds to do, but it makes an enormous difference because it serves to ground you and it activates your rational mind so you can make a more thoughtful choice about how to respond (instead of just reacting based on the emotions you were feeling). OK, so that then leads to my next tip…
Distract your brain — redirecting your focus to something else can interrupt the loop of repetitive thoughts… and it gives your mind a rest! Try engaging in an activity that requires your full attention, like a puzzle, a hobby, or something physical. Choosing an activity you enjoy can make this distraction even more effective, because not only does it divert your thoughts but it also boosts your mood. OK, next…
Reframe your thoughts — and this is about consciously changing the way you interpret a situation to see it in a more positive or neutral light. This reduces the negative impact of overthinking and promotes a healthier mindset, and you can do it by simply asking yourself how you could view the situation differently. For example, if you think, “I’m terrible at this!” you could reframe it to, “I’m learning and improving.” This shift in perspective can reduce anxiety and help you approach situations more constructively. Next…
Write it out to get it out — your thoughts are going to just go round and round in your mind unless you do something with them… so, do something with them! Grab a pen and paper, and write and write and write until you run out of energy; you could also have a dedicated notebook as a ‘Worry Journal’ which is the place where you dump these thoughts out to get rid of them. Don’t bother reading what you wrote afterwards; just get it all out of your head until there’s nothing left, then either put it away or throw it out and go do something nice for yourself (even just something simple like grabbing a tea or coffee and sitting outside for five or ten minutes). The process of writing can clarify your thoughts and make them seem more manageable, providing you with relief from overthinking and also just giving you an outlet to channel your thoughts to. OK, next…
Challenge your thoughts — overthinking often involves worrying about things that probably won’t even happen, so challenge your thoughts by asking yourself if they’re realistic or likely to occur which forces you to confront the irrational nature of your worries. I talked about worry back in Episode 95 if you’d like more tips on dealing with worried thoughts. OK, next…
Limit your information intake — it’s easy to become overwhelmed with the news, with social media content, or even just with some of the crap that passes for television these days… but most of it is noise, and it can send you into a spiral of overthinking. Limiting your information intake helps to reduce the amount of data your brain needs to process, so try setting boundaries around your media consumption (like taking regular breaks from social media), turning off notifications, choosing to get your news from reputable sources, or designating specific times for checking news updates or emails. You’re in control of what you consume, physically and mentally. OK, next…
Breathe — gentle and mindful breathing is greatly underrated as a way to calm your mind, and it helps to activate your body’s natural relaxation response which can reduce stress and anxiety. Mindful breathing involves focusing on your breath to calm your mind. Try sitting quietly and paying attention to your breathing, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth for a few minutes, or try box breathing: inhale slowly for a count of four, holding for a count of four, exhale for four, pause for four, then repeat several times until you feel more relaxed. Practicing mindful breathing a few minutes a day can help centre your thoughts and reduce the tendency to overthink. OK, next…
Get outdoors — spending time in nature can have a calming effect on your mind and reduce overthinking, and natural environments can lower stress levels and improve mood. Try taking regular walks in a park, hiking, or simply sitting in the garden. The sights, sounds, and smells of nature can provide a soothing backdrop that helps quiet your mind and bring a sense of peace. Next..
Move your body — physical activity is a great way to break the cycle of overthinking because exercise releases endorphins, which improve your mood and reduce stress; the physical exertion can help clear your mind and provide a healthy distraction from your thoughts. Incorporate regular physical activity into your routine, like a daily walk, a yoga class, or a gym session. Next…
Focus on solutions, not problems — try consciously shifting your focus to possible solutions, which transforms your thinking from passive worry to active problem-solving; it’s a simple focus shift that can make you feel more empowered and less stuck in your thoughts. OK, next…
Limit your “what-if?” questions — OK, so “what if?” is the worst thought process possible, because it can lead you to a spiral of worry and overthinking; actively limiting these types of questions or thoughts helps stop the cycle of endless possibilities that often won’t and don’t materialise. Recognise when you’re asking these types of questions and challenge their logic. Instead of asking “What if this happens?”, try reframing your thoughts to focus on what you can do right now, which helps you stay grounded in the present and reduces unnecessary anxiety.
OK, so now I’m going to focus on some more strategic things you can do if you’re prone to overthinking, starting with…
Practice acceptance — so, ‘acceptance’ involves recognising that some things are beyond your control and being OK with that. This helps to reduce the need to overanalyse situations and it lets go of the pressure to control every outcome. Try mindfulness practice or using mantras like “I accept what I cannot change.” This is a major mindset shift that can help you find peace, and it reduces the stress associated with overthinking. OK, next…
Focus on what you can control — and this is about directing your energy towards practical steps you can take instead of endless worry about things you can’t control. For example, if you’re worried about a presentation then focus on preparing thoroughly rather than worrying about how others will react; this approach helps you feel more empowered and it reduces the tendency to overthink. Next…
Set time limits for decision-making — one common cause of overthinking is struggling to make decisions, and so setting a time limit can really help because it forces you to take action rather than getting stuck in analysis paralysis. Try giving yourself a specific amount of time to make a decision, whether that’s five minutes for small decisions or an hour for bigger ones. Once the time is up, make your choice and move forward. OK, next…
Focus on progress, not perfection — trying to be perfect leads to pressure, which leads to stress, which leads to overthinking, which leads to more stress… before you know it, your head feels like it’s ready to explode! The thing is though that there’s no such thing as perfection, and so it’s more important to figure out a way to make positive progress than to waste your energy in a futile attempt to get everything ‘just right’. Set realistic goals for yourself and acknowledge the steps you’re taking towards them, and celebrate your small achievements along the way instead of fixating on flaws. Reminding yourself that growth and improvement are more important than getting everything right can help you stay motivated and be a lot less less critical of yourself. And, as I said earlier, I talked about perfectionism in Episode 98. OK, next…
Learn to let go — sometimes, overthinking is driven by a need to control everything… but it’s just not realistic, because you can’t control everything. Learning to let go helps because it allows you to accept that some things are beyond your control. You can do this by consciously practicing acceptance, reminding yourself that it’s OK to not have all the answers, and focusing on what you can control then letting go of the rest. And, on that note, if you find yourself ruminating over things that happened (or didn’t happen) in the past, remind yourself that what’s done is done and it can’t be changed, only learned from… and give yourself permission to let it go (I mean, it’s a lot less stressful than holding onto all those old emotions!). I covered ruminating back in Episode 116 and I’m going to be exploring how to let go in a couple of weeks so keep an eye out for that (hit ‘follow’ or ‘subscribe’ on your podcast service and click on the bell to be notified when I release new episodes). OK, next…
Track your triggers and patterns — this is a great way to build your self-awareness and to understand the root causes of why you overthink, so you can address them more effectively. Try keeping a log of situations or thoughts that lead to overthinking, noting the time, place, and any associated feelings; reviewing this log regularly can reveal patterns and help you develop strategies to manage your triggers, like avoiding certain situations or preparing coping mechanisms in advance. Next…
Talk to someone you trust — talking about your worries and challenges can provide a new perspective and help you feel a lot less isolated; it lets you express your thoughts and receive feedback or reassurance. Try reaching out to a friend, family member, or therapist when you’re feeling overwhelmed, because sharing your concerns can lighten the mental load and provide you with greater clarity.
Summary and Close-out
Because when it comes to overthinking and mental health, what it all boils down to is this:
Overthinking can be really stressful, but thankfully there are lots of simple tools and techniques you can apply to help you work through things. The more you practice, the more comfortable and confident you’ll become with tackling overthinking if and when it happens… and the more you’ll be able to take back control and find greater peace of mind.
The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today?
Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:
“Overthinking will destroy your happiness and your mood. It’ll make everything worse than it actually is.”
Unknown
Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.
How do you deal with overthinking? If you’re on Spotify scroll down and share in the Q&A section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or by commenting on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week, along with my newsletter Thursday Thoughts; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And discover more mental health tips on my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, plus become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes.
Next week I’ll be talking about judgement.
Judgemental comments from other people (including friends and family) can be really upsetting, and it can be hard to know how to respond when you’re feeling judged as well as how to manage your own emotional reactions… and so that’s what I’m discussing next time! I’ll be talking about what judgement is, why you need to respond to it thoughtfully, and how to deal with judgement from others.
That episode will be released on the 23rd of June, 2024, and I hope you’ll join me for it! Hit ‘follow’ or ‘subscribe’ on your podcast service and hit the bell to turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.
Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!
Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com
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