Want to be happier? This week I’m talking about simple and practical ways you can feel more satisfied and fulfilled in your life. Ready to learn how to increase your happiness? Then let’s talk!
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What does increasing your happiness mean, and how does happiness affect your mental health? If you want to learn how to be a lot happier then you’ve come to the right place… because that’s what I’m talking about this week here on Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes mental health simple.
Ready to start building a happier life for yourself? Then, get comfortable and let’s talk!
Hello and welcome to Episode 232 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks for joining me as I talk about happiness and wellbeing!
I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this isn’t your regular podcast full of interviews and random opinions. I’m a mental health counsellor and writer, and each week I look at one specific aspect of better mental health and I share simple and practical tips you can apply immediately, all based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life.
In this episode I’ll be talking about what ‘increasing your happiness’ means, why it matters, and how to do it.
So, let’s talk!
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Do you want to be happier?
Now, you’re probably thinking, “well of course I do, Jeremy, who doesn’t want to be happier?!” but you’d be surprised; unfortunately, there are a quite a lot of miserable people in this world who seem fairly content to be gloomy and grumpy (and quite often, in my experience, they tend to be the people who wonder why they’re so gloomy and grumpy… but that’s a conversation for another time!).
There are probably thousands upon thousands of books, not to mention millions of articles, all about how to be happier (including, I noticed while researching this episode, quite a few from tabloid newspapers, which I found incredibly ironic — I mean, they’re hardly the go-to place for trusted advice — but that’s also a conversation for another time!).
The thing about most of the happiness suggestions that are out there is that it kind-of boils down to a few things: don’t be a dick, choose to be kind, be grateful for what you already have, prioritise your basic needs, and make time to look after yourself. Of course, there’s a lot more to it than just that and I’ll be talking through specific strategies a little later in this episode, but I just want to plant the seed in your mind this early on that happiness doesn’t have to be this great, big, complex thing that only exists at the rainbow’s end where the unicorn roam, or that requires you to have a ton of money or to jump through a whole bunch of hurdles to find… because it really is a lot simpler than we think it is.
So, let’s start by getting ourselves onto the same page with some definitions; and, hey, if you feel happy at any point during our little chat today then feel free to do what Pharrell Williams suggested and, “Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth,” (and I think we all knew I was going to quote that song at some point, didn’t we?!).
OK, so let’s talk about…
What does ‘increasing your happiness’ mean?
And I think it’s worth starting with a definition of happiness from an article by positivepsychology.com, which explains ‘happiness’ as being:
“…the positive emotions we have in regards to the pleasurable activities we take part in through our daily lives. Pleasure, comfort, gratitude, hope, and inspiration are examples of positive emotions that increase our happiness and [help] us to flourish. In scientific literature, happiness is [often] referred to as hedonia, [being] the presence of positive emotions and the absence of negative emotions…”
And you’ll find that article linked in the transcript at ltamh.com.
So, when we talk about increasing your happiness, it’s about improving the quality of your day-to-day experiences which will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life.
From a general standpoint, increasing your happiness involves taking proactive steps to improve your daily interactions, environment, and mindset. It’s about recognising that while we can’t always control what happens to us, we most certainly can control how we respond… and so that means making conscious choices to focus on the positives, to engage more fully with the world around you, and to cultivate a genuine sense of gratitude for what you have rather than focusing too heavily on problems and challenges. It’s about having a really clear understanding of what doesn’t make you happy, and working out how to have less of that in your life, and at the same time figuring out what does make you happy and identifying how to have more of that in your life.
Here’s the thing about happiness, though: it’s a fleeting emotion, which means that chasing after it doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find it and — even if you do — it’s not going to be one of those ‘happily ever after’ stories we’re told as children (which really just set up an unrealistic expectation for life; after all, nobody ever talks about what Cinderella has to put up with when her prince leaves his dirty socks on the floor or cuts his toenails in bed, do they?!).
Happiness is a topic I talk about a lot in this show (and it’s one I covered back in Episode 61) and it’s really a product of living authentically and giving yourself permission to make sure that your needs are being met. Ultimately, happiness differs from person to person — for example, what makes me happy might not make you happy, and vice versa — and it’s often more of a by-product of finding and creating a sense of satisfaction in your life, which then helps you to let go of negativity more and embrace positive feelings. And, beyond that, it’s about taking those activities that spark joy for you and making them not just occasional treats, but regular parts of your life.
Shifting to a mental health context, actively working on increasing your happiness can significantly impact your overall well-being because it teaches you to live more in the present and less stuck in the past or weighed down by your worries about the future. By embracing a more positive mindset, you’re not just improving your mood in the short term; you’re also building a solid foundation that supports your long-term well-being.
So, with that in mind, now let’s talk about…
Why increasing your happiness matters
And, I mean, really it matters because what’s the alternative… embrace being miserable all the time? To quote Alexis from Schitt’s Creek, “ew!”
The thing is that it’s about increasing your happiness in healthy and considered ways, rather than just chasing things that give you a buzz even if they’re potentially causing chaos, confusion, or complications.
Remember, you’re the one in control here. You’re the one who gets to make choices about what you do or do not do, and about what you will or will not accept. I have a general rule for life which is fairly self-explanatory: if something makes you miserable, that ‘something’ has to go. Immediately, if not sooner. Take work for example; I think we all know that work can be a pain in the butt sometimes (and if it were supposed to be fun all the time then it would be called ‘fun’) but there’s a huge difference between a job that’s ‘fine’ versus one that makes you miserable… one can be a stepping stone to something better, whereas the other (the ‘miserable’ one) will suck every last ounce of joy out of your soul, leaving you struggling to find any happiness at all. And that’s just no way to live! So, I guess the point I’m making is this: if anything makes you miserable, the price is too high… so change it. Because you deserve better. Much better!
When you choose to focus on increasing your happiness, you’re not just improving your present; you’re also paving the way for a brighter and more resilient future, and for a better quality of life.
Really, this is about creating a life that feels good on the inside… not just one that looks good on the outside. And it’s about setting yourself up for success and greater satisfaction in life in a more sustainable way, where your happiness isn’t reliant on other people or external factors. That’s how you think better, do better, and be better… all of which helps you to find even more happiness, like one big happy circle of love that goes round and round regardless of what’s going on in the wider world or whatever challenges are being thrown your way.
When you actively work on aspects of your life that contribute to happiness (like your relationships, your sense of purpose, and your physical health), it helps to strengthen your mental health. This is about building your resilience, which I covered last week in Episode 231, which helps you to handle stress better and bounce back from adversity. A proactive approach to managing your happiness can help to buffer you against mental health challenges such as anxiety and depression, by providing you with better emotional well-being and the ability to handle the many stresses of life.
On the other hand, not managing your happiness in a thoughtful and strategic way can lead to negative outcomes. It can be easy to fall into the trap of pursuing things that might seem rewarding in the short term, but that are ultimately unfulfilling or even unhealthy; for example, prioritising material gains or superficial accolades over deeper and more meaningful achievements can eventually lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and a feeling of emptiness.
In mental health terms, neglecting to proactively manage your happiness can leave you vulnerable to stress, burnout, and depression. Without developing healthy coping mechanisms and nurturing positive emotions, life’s challenges can seem more daunting and your ability to cope can be significantly diminished.
So, in essence, when you take the time to cultivate your happiness thoughtfully, you’re not just enhancing your mood; you’re building a toolkit that supports your mental health and your overall quality of life. It’s about actively taking charge of your life’s story, and ensuring that the tale you’re creating is one of joy, resilience, and fulfilment. You’re the architect of your happiness, and by laying down strong foundations you can create a resilient structure that withstands the test of time (not to mention any person — or Big Bad Wolf — who might try to huff and puff and blow your house down!).
So, how do you do all that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…
AD BREAK [Note: Ads do not play if you have Spotify Premium]
And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about…
How to increase your happiness
OK, so let’s start with being proactive about managing stress — because stress is one of the most common things that can take away your sense of happiness and satisfaction if it’s left to fester. The point here is to be proactive — try regular breathing exercises, daily reflection, simple mindfulness practices, etc. — and don’t wait until there’s a problem to do something about stress (because that’s like trying to shut the gate after the stressed-out horse has bolted). I talked about how to reduce stress in Episode 225 if you’d like to explore that topic further. OK, next…
Get the basics right — this is about doing the stuff that’s going to help you build a solid foundation for yourself and set you up for success. Prioritise physical activities like walking or yoga, which release endorphins (often known as ‘feel-good’ hormones, which can lift your mood almost instantly); the trick with physical activity is to choose something fun so you can make it something to look forward to, rather than a chore. Maintain a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, all of which can improve your brain function and lead to better mental health; start by incorporating more whole foods into your meals and build from there. Limit alcohol and other drugs (bearing in mind that alcohol is a depressant, something I talked about in Episode 191 about alcohol). Make sure you get enough sleep, take your breaks at work, and allow yourself time to unwind and recharge. And create a simple routine for yourself then follow it as much as possible, which reduces stress by removing the uncertainties that can cloud your day. All of these simple activities help you to maintain your well-being, and in fact I have an episode about how to improve your overall well-being (not just the physical) coming out in three week’s time; a week earlier for my supporters on Patreon. OK, next…
Actively focus on gratitude — which is about shifting your focus from what’s missing to what’s present… because what you focus on is what you focus on. Gratitude reduces the tendency to compare yourself with others and creates a sense of contentment with your own life. Start by writing down three things you’re grateful for each day, and build on it over time. OK, next…
Manage your time wisely — effective time management can help you feel less rushed and more in control, which can significantly boost your happiness. Prioritise your tasks, set boundaries, and break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Oh, and allocating specific times for work and relaxation can help you ensure a balanced lifestyle… so bear that in mind! Next…
Show yourself compassion — often we’re our own harshest critics, and that can really diminish your happiness. Practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d offer to a friend. You can do this by noticing when you’re being self-critical and consciously shifting to a more compassionate tone. This improves your happiness because it reduces negative self-talk and encourages a healthier and more supportive relationship with yourself (and, after all, your relationship with yourself is the longest one you’re ever going to have!), and I covered self-compassion in more detail back in Episode 153. OK, next…
Respect yourself — which means choosing to be kinder to yourself, instead of being your own bully, and it also means setting clear personal boundaries and sticking to them so that you can reduce feelings of resentment and overwhelm. To do this, identify your needs, understand what your limits are, give yourself permission to say no, and learn how to communicate your needs effectively and clearly to others. Next…
Reframe challenges as opportunities — choosing to view challenges as opportunities for growth, instead of obstacles, can drastically change your emotional response to them. It’s a simple reframing technique that helps you approach life’s difficulties with a more positive and proactive mindset, and it can significantly boost your resilience and happiness. OK, next…
Adopt a future-oriented mindset — so, while it’s important to live in the present, planning for the future and having things to look forward to can increase your overall happiness and help you to be able to take things one day at a time while also having a sense of purpose and joy around the things you’re working towards. This might involve setting long-term goals, planning a trip, or organising future gatherings with friends; whatever works for you. Next..
Connect with other people — social connections offer emotional support and enrich your life experiences, and they provide a real sense of belonging. The company you keep can have a profound impact on your personal outlook on life, so surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift you and share your values. Make an effort to reach out to friends and family regularly, or get involved in community activities where you can meet new people; maybe you’d enjoy joining a group, or starting a new one. Alright, next…
Try saying ‘yes’ more often — look, don’t overextend yourself… but do open yourself up to new experiences, especially when it’s out of your comfort zone. Why? Because it can lead to unexpected joys and new opportunities, increasing your overall satisfaction with life… and it just beats doing the same boring thing over and over again! OK, next…
Have more fun — it’s a cliché, but laughter really can be the best medicine. It not only eases stress and anxiety but it also promotes relaxation and a sense of well-being. You can incorporate more humour into your day by watching funny movies or spending time with friends who make you laugh, or just get out and do stuff that feels like fun; go to a theme park more often, or ride a toboggan down a hill… whatever makes you feel happier and more alive! One of my go-to choices is listening to music; I have openly admitted I am a huge fan of Eurovision (don’t you dare judge me) and it’s currently that time of year (although this goes out just after it’s finished), but listening to all the new songs (the good, the bad, and the downright-nuts!) brings me a lot of joy… and music can reduce stress and elevate your mood, so there’s that! OK, next…
Practice savouring — ‘savouring’ is the act of mindfully engaging in thoughts or behaviours that heighten the impact of positive experiences, and it can be as simple as taking a moment to truly enjoy a meal, appreciating a beautiful sunset, or reliving a happy memory. Practice savouring by making time to appreciate and dwell on moments that bring you happiness, instead of just rushing through them. Next…
Embrace nature — spending time in nature has a huge impact on your mood and mental health; it reduces stress, enhances your creativity, and improves your outlook on life. Make it a habit to spend time outdoors, whether that’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or just sitting in the garden, and let yourself reconnect with the natural world as often as you can. OK, next…
Rediscover your childhood joys — think back to activities you loved as a child but have since abandoned. Whether it’s drawing, playing a musical instrument, or riding a bicycle, reintegrating these joys into your life can reignite a sense of happiness that you might have forgotten. Next…
Create a ‘No Complaints’ day — challenge yourself to go a full day without complaining, which can shift your focus from what’s going wrong to appreciating what’s going right. Complaining often reinforces negative thoughts, so by breaking this habit — even for a day — you can gain a more positive and content outlook. Just don’t judge yourself too harshly if it’s tough to do this; be kind to yourself, and try again. OK, next…
Limit your screen time — reducing the time you spend on digital devices, especially social media, can significantly improve your mental well-being and your happiness, because excessive screen time often leads to comparison and dissatisfaction. Try setting specific times to check your devices or using apps that help monitor and limit your screen time to create more space for other, more fulfilling activities. And so that leads to my next point…
Have a ‘digital detox’ weekend — try dedicating one weekend each month to a digital detox, where you disconnect from all digital devices. This is a simple practice that helps to reset your focus on in-person interactions and the physical world around you, reducing stress and increasing mindfulness and presence. Try reading a book or going for a walk instead, and learn how to just ‘be’ instead of filling your time with digital activities and distractions. OK, next…
Keep a journal — journaling is a fantastic way to process your emotions, reflect on your experiences, and clarify your thoughts and feelings. Writing down your thoughts can help you to manage anxiety, reduce stress, and figure out how to cope with challenges. Try setting aside a few minutes each day to write about your experiences, how you feel, or anything that’s on your mind; this can be a great emotional outlet and an excellent tool for self-discovery. OK, next…
Volunteer your time — helping others is not only beneficial for those you help, but it also boosts your own happiness. It’s a simple way to give to others that can also provide you with a sense of purpose, reduce feelings of loneliness, and connect you with others, creating a positive feedback loop of happiness. You can start by looking for local charities or community groups where your skills and talents can be put to good use.
Summary and Close-out
Because when it comes to increasing your happiness and mental health, what it all boils down to is this:
Actively working to increase your happiness isn’t just about improving how you feel day-to-day; it’s about transforming your entire approach to life. The path to happiness is unique for each of us, and so it’s about figuring out what brings you joy (so you can do more of that) while also identifying the stuff that takes away from your joy (so you can do less of that). You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here; small, intentional actions can lead to profound changes. All you have to do is make the choice to prioritise finding greater happiness, and then take things one step at a time from there.
The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today?
Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:
“The most simple things can bring the most happiness.”
Unknown
Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.
What does ‘increasing your happiness’ mean to you? If you’re on Spotify you can scroll down and share in the Q&A section below, otherwise leave a comment on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week, along with my newsletter Thursday Thoughts; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And for more mental health tips follow my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, plus become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes.
Next week I’ll be talking about life lessons.
What are some of the most valuable lessons we all need to learn in life? And, more importantly, is it possible to learn them a lot less painfully than many of us (myself included) have had to in the past? Look, there are some things that you can really only learn through personal experience… but there’s a lot of stuff that you can discover for yourself, and that’s what I’m going to be focusing on next time. I’ll be talking about what life lessons are, why we need to learn particular lessons, and how to learn what you need to learn.
That episode will be released on the 26th of May, 2024, and I hope you’ll join me for it! Hit ‘follow’ or ‘subscribe’ on your podcast service and hit the bell to turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.
Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!
Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com
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Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program written and created by me (Jeremy Godwin), and it relies on listeners like you to help with the costs of producing the podcast each week. If you’d like to support the show, you can become a paid subscriber on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes. Thank you!
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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.
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