235: How to improve your wellbeing

What is wellbeing, and how can you take control of your wellbeing to improve your mental health? This new episode will help you discover simple ways to take care of all the different aspects of wellbeing. Ready to learn how to actively improve your wellbeing? Then let’s talk! 😃

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What is wellbeing, and what are the different aspects of well-being we all need to know about? And, most importantly, how can you actively improve your wellbeing?

If you want to learn how to improve your wellbeing then you’ve come to the right place… because that’s what I’m talking about this week here on Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes mental health simple. 

Ready to take control of your wellbeing? Then, get comfortable and let’s talk!

Hello and welcome to Episode 235 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks for joining me as I talk about practical ways to improve your wellbeing!

I’m Jeremy Godwin, and this isn’t your regular podcast full of interviews and random opinions. I’m a mental health counsellor and writer, and each week I look at one specific aspect of better mental health and I share simple and practical tips you can apply immediately, all based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life.

In this episode I’ll be talking about what wellbeing is (including the different aspects that make up your holistic wellbeing), why proactively working on your wellbeing matters, and how to take control and improve your wellbeing.

So, let’s talk!

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If you’re a regular listener then you might have noticed I’ve been revisiting some older topics lately, and looking at them deeper or from a different angle… and there’s a good reason for that, which is that mental health is one of those subjects where there’s so much to be said and so many ways to look at things. 

Take well-being for example. I talked about it all the way back in Episode 60, at the start of 2021, and I’m revisiting it today for a number of reasons. Aside from the fact that the ‘wellbeing’ industry has become this massive global beast filled with a lot of people who seem to have a lot of opinions (many of which are turned into entertainment fodder on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok), it’s actually an incredibly important topic that affects each and every one of us as individuals on a daily basis… and it’s one where we need more information grounded in real, genuine, quality research instead of the stuff that passes for ‘advice’ in some corners of the Social Media School of Shady Tips and Shenanigans, so that’s what I’m focusing on today.

Now, while I’m still proud of that episode I put out all that time ago, I feel like I was a bit too concerned with making sure I shared a lot of the research I found and it didn’t really feel as practical as I’d like it to be, or at least certainly not as practical as I prefer to write things now (with the benefit of a few years of doing this show now, compared to where I was at back then). And I also talked about six core areas of wellbeing, but now I tend to focus on nine aspects… so we’ll talk about that in a moment, and why I think we need to take a more holistic view of our own individual wellbeing. Plus, let’s just be real here… I love talking about this stuff, and I could honestly sit here and chat about wellbeing until I’m blue in the face because it’s a subject I’m really passionate about, and learning about all this stuff played a huge role in helping me to find my way out of my difficult times dealing with depression and anxiety.

So, let’s first get ourselves on the same page with some definitions and let’s talk about…

What is wellbeing?

OK, so the idea of wellbeing is about “the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy” (and that comes from the Oxford Dictionary). We can often tend to focus on just our physical wellbeing or our mental wellbeing, but there’s a lot more to it than that… so let me explain.

I’ve put a diagram in the transcript (which you’ll find linked in the episode description, or you can just head to ltamh.com and you’ll find it under the ‘Episodes’ tab), and I’m going to briefly explain it now so that even if you can’t see it you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Picture a donut (mmm, donuts) with an extra ring around the outside. The main part of the donut is broken up into 6 sections — physical wellbeing, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, and financial — and the outer ring is split into two, representing your relationships with others and your work. Finally, the hole in the middle of the donut represents your relationship with yourself, and it’s at the core of your overall wellbeing.

So, with that in mind, you can see we have the aspects of wellbeing that are internally focused (being the physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, and financial aspects of wellbeing) and then the externally-focused factors that are both influenced by wellbeing and also influence your wellbeing (and those are your relationships with others and your work), and then finally everything comes back to your relationship with yourself, simply because it’s at the heart of everything you do and say and think; if your relationship with yourself isn’t great, then it’s going to negatively affect your wellbeing… whereas if you have a positive relationship with yourself, then it’s going to help you to feel a lot better about yourself and to be a lot more proactive about taking care of your wellbeing. 

So the thing I want to highlight here is that all of these different aspects of wellbeing are interwoven; it’s not a case of this or that, but more like this and that in the sense that everything is connected. Your physical wellbeing, for example, has a direct impact on your energy levels and that affects your mental health, and vice versa… just as your work (as in, the specific job that you do) has a direct effect on your financial wellbeing (and probably your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing at the very least… especially if you’re going through a tough time of it)… so if everything is connected, then your focus needs to be on taking care of all of the different aspects of your wellbeing instead of just one or two.

And, funnily enough, that leads to the next part of today’s topic…

Why proactively working on your wellbeing matters

And the key word there is ‘proactively’; this is about not just scraping by day to day, but learning how to truly thrive in all aspects of your life! Because when you do that, you’re more resilient and better equipped to handle the challenges and shenanigans that life tends to throw our way every now and then (and I just recently talked about building your resilience, in Episode 231). 

Here’s the thing: you can’t fill from an empty cup, and if you want to be able to show up for yourself and for the people you care about then you need to do the work to proactively take care of your wellbeing and to improve it, little by little. 

‘Proactively’ means taking control of things instead of just waiting until something happens and then reacting, because that usually makes things harder to deal with and it also isn’t really a positive way of living; I mean, you don’t just ‘have’ wellbeing automatically if you don’t have any issues to deal with and, realistically, there’s a huge difference between just surviving (or plodding along every day) versus truly thriving… truly being the best version of yourself you possibly can. 

If we take a step back from all the stuff I’ve been saying and just think about the bigger picture here, working to improve your wellbeing is about two things: treating yourself with respect, and setting yourself up for a better tomorrow. I’m a firm believer in the value of living in the present, but that doesn’t mean you just forget about the future entirely; your future is created by the choices you make here in the present, so really wellbeing is about learning to live in the present while also making smart choices for the future. It’s a healthier choice than just hoping you’ll end up in a good place tomorrow, and it helps you to feel more in-control of your own destiny since it’s the steps you take today that determine the path you’ll be walking tomorrow.

Oh, and that self-respect thing I just mentioned? Hopefully that’s just a given — that you know your worth and that you choose to treat yourself with kindness — but if it isn’t then that’s OK, because today’s the day that you get to make different choices… so I’m going to strongly encourage you to include a lot of work on the self-respect piece moving forward (and I covered that topic back in Episode 96). 

Your life is yours to create — nobody else’s — and that’s a good thing, but it also means that the responsibility falls to you, because nobody can or will make changes for you. Ultimately it comes down to making the choice to create a life for yourself that’s both healthy and fulfilling in all the different aspects of your wellbeing. 

So, how do you do that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

AD BREAK [Note: Ads do not play if you have Spotify Premium]

And welcome back! Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to take control and improve your wellbeing

OK, so my first tip is to work on your relationship with yourself first and foremost — and I say that because your relationship with you is the longest one you’ll ever have in your life, so it’s going to be a lot better for you if it’s a good one! Look, I think a lot of us can all be a bit self-critical sometimes (myself included) and we human beings have a tendency to pay more attention to the negative than the positive by default, but you can choose to either feel shitty about yourself, and to bully yourself, or you can choose to start being your own ally… and only one of those choices will lead to better wellbeing. This is where activities like journalling and daily reflection can make a huge difference (and I have a digital daily reflection tool and Masterclass available from my store to help you do that; head to my website at ltamh.com or find the link in the episode description). A simple way to improve your relationship with yourself is with my next tip…

Work on taking care of the basics — it’s amazing how easy it is to forget about the simple things we can do to look after our well-being, like eating a balanced diet, getting proper sleep, drinking plenty of water, safely exposing your body to sunlight (just don’t forget sunscreen, especially here in Australia!), and moving your body daily. Exercise is a big one and it’s so simple, but it has a huge effect; moving your body increases your blood flow, which delivers oxygen and nutrients throughout your body, which helps you to feel more alert and energised. Create a simple routine that works for you, and make time for it every day. OK, next…

Take an honest look at your coping mechanisms and choices — look, do you really need me to tell you that cake should be a ‘sometimes’ food, not an ‘it’s a day ending with Y’ food?! Or that using substances like drugs and alcohol to cope with problems is a bad choice? Let’s be honest here; we all know this stuff is terrible for us, but we choose to pretend it’s OK because it makes dealing with discomfort a bit easier (or at least that’s how it feels; in reality it actually makes it worse in the long-term). The same goes for the choices you make in life. You know that calling that toxic person and letting them sprinkle their nonsense all over your life yet again is not a smart choice… so why the hell do you keep going back for another serving?! You’re in control of what you do and say, so it’s up to you to do and say things that are aligned with who you want to be… not who you don’t want to be. I mean, we all make mistakes from time to time, and we need to be kinder to ourselves if and when we do, but you also need to be realistic about calling yourself out on your bullshit and being really honest about the impact that your choices are having on your life. If you want better then you need to make better choices, that’s just how it works… sorry, I don’t make the rules! OK, next…

Create a wellbeing plan — so, I want to encourage you to take some time to sit down and think about all of those different aspects of wellbeing I talked about earlier (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, and financial, plus your work and your relationships with others, as well as your relationship with yourself) and I want you to create a really simple plan for what you’re going to do to proactively work on improving all of those areas of your life (if it helps, I have episodes to cover pretty much all of those so you can always start by working through my back catalogue). The point here is to figure out what works for you and then to invest some time to work on the different aspects of your wellbeing; daily would be ideal, but at least 3-4 times a week as a minimum. Don’t overcomplicate things or over-engineer it, and don’t worry about creating the ‘perfect’ plan (because perfect doesn’t exist); just come up with one or two things you’ll do in each area of wellbeing, then do them, then keep doing them, and review your plan at least once a month, adjusting it as necessary (and even maybe trying new things as well, so you can keep it fresh and interesting). OK, so that leads to my next point…

Make your wellbeing a priority — I’ve spoken to so many people about this topic over the last few years that I’ve been running this podcast, and the thing most people tend to say is that their wellbeing, and taking care of themselves, often tends to fall 4th or 5th (or even lower) on their list of priorities… and, honestly, if you’re not your number one priority in life then you are doing yourself a major disservice! I know this is a cliché but I don’t care: it’s like on the plane when they tell us to put our own oxygen masks on first before helping others. Do you know why they do that? Because if you don’t then you will pass out, and then you’ll be of no use to anyone else! And guess what? Your wellbeing is the same. Nobody can or will do it for you, and if you keep on putting yourself last then you’re going to end up burning out. Self-care is not selfish, it’s self-preservation and it’s self-respect… so, take a look at your schedule and start carving out space for proactively looking after your wellbeing, whatever that looks and feels like for you. OK, next… 

Connect with other people — social interactions, regardless of who they’re with, help us to feel less isolated and part of something bigger; loneliness can have a negative impact on mental health, and so it’s important that you make time for socialising. And, on that note, don’t just rely on social media, texting, or emailing; real connections are harder to form and maintain without real interactions, either face to face or over the phone, so really think about how you can spend time with people. And so that leads to my next point…

Look closely at the quality of your relationships — so, we have our general social contact (which can be with anyone we interact with), but then we have our closest relationships; our family, our friends, our partner if we have one, and even sometimes with the people we work with. These are the people who know a lot more about you than maybe your neighbours do, or that random dude on the bus you chat to sometimes… these are the people who know your likes and your dislikes, maybe even your hopes and your fears, and in many cases they might even know what gets under your skin and what buttons to push for a reaction or to manipulate you. Let me say this loudly and clearly: a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and support. Mutual respect and support. If any of your relationships aren’t healthy, you need to do something about them… because unhealthy relationships can fester and grow into much bigger problems over time. Set clear boundaries and stick to them, and call out inappropriate behaviour; it doesn’t matter who the person is and what their relationship is to you, don’t put up with toxic situations and make tough choices if and when you need to. OK, next… 

Choose to reframe negative thoughts — and so this one is really about your mindset, which is about how you choose to view the world and yourself, and even though you can’t always control what random thoughts might pop into your head you can most certainly control what you choose to do with them… and it’s the choice you make that has an impact on your wellbeing. When you have a negative thought about something or someone (or yourself), you can either grab onto it with both hands and ride it like a bucking bronco, or you can choose to step back and observe the thought… which gives you a greater level of objectivity, and it’s as simple as asking yourself something like, “That’s interesting, why am I thinking that?” And then the other piece here is to look at it from a different angle, and consciously look for the positive instead. For example, if I’m annoyed at myself for rushing then the positive of that is that the situation is serving as a reminder to prioritise giving myself more time in future… so, instead of an issue it becomes an opportunity. Ultimately they’re your thoughts, and it’s completely up to you what you do with them! OK, next…

Stop, look, and listen — and here’s what I mean by that: stop doing things that aren’t in your best interests, like making excuses or letting others have power over you. Stop doing things you hate, ignoring your gut instincts, self-medicating, doing a shitty job just to pay the bills. Just stop! Instead, look around you and see all the wonderful aspects of your life, look inside yourself to find out what makes your heart sing, look around you for opportunities to create the life you want, and look for solutions instead of problems. And, most importantly, listen to your instincts and trust them!

OK, so now I have a few rapid-fire suggestions to make, starting with…

• Take things one step at a time; instead of trying to do everything at once, maybe just focus on one or two things at a time and build as you go so you don’t feel too overwhelmed!
• Remember that you don’t have to do things on your own, so call in your support squad if and when you need them
• Find ways to tap into your creativity more; join a class or a group, try crafts, learn new stuff, etc.
• Instead of avoiding tough conversations, learn to deal with issues before they grow into problems
• Learn how to be more present (which I talked about in Episode 215)
• Practice gratitude 
• Spend time outdoors more often
• Make time daily to rest and recharge
• Address any self-sabotage issues you may have (try Episode 126 for that)
• And find a therapist or counsellor to help you explore different ways to work on your wellbeing

Summary and Close-out

Because when it comes to improving your wellbeing and mental health, what it all boils down to is this:

The choices you make determine what happens next, and when it comes to your wellbeing that means that you’re in charge of how that looks and feels. When you make better choices for yourself in all areas of your life — ones that are thoughtful, considerate, and grounded in self-respect — you’re creating a much better life for yourself, one choice at a time. It’s just up to you to choose to make your needs and your wellbeing a priority, and to keep on making that choice every single day.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“Wellness is not a destination, it’s a way of life.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

What does ‘wellbeing’ mean to you? If you’re on Spotify scroll down and share in the Q&A section below, otherwise let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or by commenting on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week, along with my newsletter Thursday Thoughts; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. And discover more mental health tips on my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, plus become a paid supporter on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes. 

Next week I’ll be talking about how to stop overthinking so much. 

Our brains can do some weird stuff, and nothing is weirder than it’s ability to latch onto a thought and analyse the crap out of it until you’re so stressed out that you want to tear your hair out! Overthinking is a common challenge for many of us, but the good news is that there are lots of simple ways to tackle overthinking and get it under control… and so that’s what I’ll be talking about next time!

That episode will be released on the 16th of June, 2024, and I hope you’ll join me for it! Hit ‘follow’ or ‘subscribe’ on your podcast service and hit the bell to turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness out into the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com   

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TOOLS & RESOURCES FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

My Daily Reflection Tool is a buy-once-use-forever PDF tool that helps you to do the work that will lead to better mental health and well-being. Plus I have a Masterclass Video which is like your own coaching session with me so that you can get the most out of your daily tool. Buy the two as a bundle and save 20% for a limited time! Click the links below for your chosen product(s):

Click here for details of mental health resources in most countries.

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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Find more content at www.letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au

Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Making Mental Health Simple.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2024 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.