215: The Present and Your Mental Health

What does ‘living in the present’ mean? What even is the present? And can you learn how to live in the present to create a better future?

That’s what I’m talking about this week here on Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes mental health simple. So, get comfortable, and let’s talk!

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This podcast episode was originally released on 21 January, 2024.

Hello and welcome to Episode 215 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about the present and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I teach you how to look after your mental wellbeing, with practical tips you can apply immediately based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life. Each week I teach you simple ways to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing. 

In this episode I’ll be talking about what ‘the present’ means, why focusing on the present matters, and how to be more fully in the present. 

So, let’s talk about the present!

Introduction

Welcome to the present! If you’re new here, hi, I’m Jeremy and I’ll be your tour guide through this magical land where time is fleeting and yet eternal… which sounds like a very philosophical introduction to a topic that is, to be fair, quite philosophical indeed… but today I’ll try to keep the existential musings as brief as possible so we can spend more time talking about how to be more present (and why that matters).

Learning to be more present is a skill that can be developed over time, and it’s one of the most important aspects of finding greater peace of mind. This moment, right now, is the only moment we have for certain; the past has passed so we can’t change it, only learn from it, and the future is both unknown and unknowable, since it’s the choices you make here in the present that determine what will or won’t happen in the future. I know, I know, it sounds a bit like a whole Inception-style ‘try not to let your head explode’ type of thing, but the point is this: instead of ruminating over the past, which has passed, or worrying about the future, which has not yet happened, you can choose to turn your focus to the current moment which is the one place that you have control over what you say and do… and so that’s how you shape your future the way you want it, and how you find peace of mind.

So let’s take a few moments to get ourselves on the same page with some definitions, and let’s talk about… 

What ‘the present’ means

In the most basic sense, it’s about recognising that the only time that actually exists is ‘now’. This is that fleeting moment between your fond (or not-so-fond) memories of the past, and the big plans (or big worries) you have for the future.

So, moving on to ‘living in the present’. This is more than just a fancy phrase thrown around by self-proclaimed gurus on YouTube. It’s about really being in the moment, like when you’re so engrossed in a good book that you forget the world around you. It means paying attention to what’s happening right this second, not what happened at last week’s team meeting or what you’re cooking for dinner tomorrow.

Now, in mental health terms, living in the present is like giving your mind a break from overthinking about the past (which, let’s be honest, can’t be changed, no matter how often you go over and over it) and it also helps to reduce stress about the future (which, spoiler alert, is often messy and unpredictable, no matter how prepared you think you are). It’s about enjoying the journey of life, not just obsessing over the destination. 

It’s about appreciating the simple things in life: the warmth of the sun, the taste of your morning tea or coffee, a smile from a stranger. 

In a nutshell, it’s about embracing the magic of everyday moments, finding joy in the little things, and remembering that sometimes, the best thing you can do is just breathe and be. No time machines needed, just a gentle nudge to remind yourself that the present is pretty great when you take the time to notice it.

Now, earlier I made a pretty-big statement when I said that the present moment is both fleeting and eternal, and I’d like to take a moment to explain what I meant, since it sounds like a bit of a paradox but it actually really helps you to be more present. 

OK, so, firstly, the present moment is fleeting. It’s like trying to hold onto a handful of sand — the tighter you grip, the faster it seems to slip through your fingers. Each moment is transient, a brief snapshot into the continuous flow of time. You’re here, now, and then the moment is gone, replaced by the next, and it’s this fleeting nature of the present moment that makes it so precious… in fact, I’d go so far as to label it as priceless, since no amount of money or effort can ever replace or replicate a moment once it’s passed. This is why so many mindfulness practices encourage us to savour the present, to fully engage with it, because once it passes, it’s gone forever.

On the other hand, the present moment is also eternal. This might sound like a bit of a riddle, but hear me out: while individual moments are short-lived, the present as a concept is always with us. It’s eternal in the sense that it’s always ‘now’. The past is a memory, the future a projection, but the present? It’s constant. Even as it changes, it remains the only time we can actually live and act. This eternal aspect of the present moment is powerful. It’s like a continuously flowing river — always moving, yet always ‘there’. In this way, each moment offers us an opportunity for renewal and reconnection.

So, when we say that the present moment is both fleeting and eternal, it’s about acknowledging the interplay between the fleeting nature of each individual moment and the consistency of ‘now’. It’s a reminder that life is a series of present moments, each one offering us a chance to engage, to feel, to be. It’s an invitation to not get too caught up in what’s gone or overly anxious about what’s yet to come, but to embrace and appreciate the constant, ever-changing, always present ‘now’. 

Here’s the thing: this concept isn’t just philosophical; it has real implications for how we live our lives. By understanding and embracing the fleeting-yet-eternal nature of the present moment, you can open yourself up to a more mindful, appreciative, and engaged way of living. It’s about finding a balance, a way to acknowledge and respect the transient nature of life while also appreciating the continuous thread of the present that weaves through our entire existence.

OK, so with all that in mind now let’s talk about…

Why focusing on the present matters

Right, so I want to start by sharing a quote by Eckhart Tolle, who practically wrote the book on living in the present (well, he certainly wrote a book, The Power of Now, which was released in the late 90’s and is still going strong millions of copies later). The quote is:

“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”

Eckhart Tolle

So, that last line is the main point I want to make today: for every moment you find yourself trapped in rumination over the past, or worry about the future, you’re robbing yourself of the joy of being fully present in this moment.

Look, I’m no saint at this — I am very much prone to getting distracted by worries about the future or going over and over past events sometimes — but the thing is that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the only place I live is here in the present, and so reminding myself of that (and deliberately drawing my focus back to the present) helps me to engage more fully with life. 

Imagine you’re at a party but you’re so caught up in thinking about that meeting you need to attend tomorrow that you don’t really taste the food, hear the music, or enjoy the company of your loved ones. You’re there, but you’re not really ‘there’. Living in the present helps you to savour those moments more; to really taste that little nibble thing, to laugh wholeheartedly at jokes, and to create lasting memories that are vivid and real.

Now, from a mental health perspective, living in the present is incredibly beneficial for a number of reasons. 

It reduces stress and anxiety, because (and no real surprises here) worrying about the future or ruminating over the past is a surefire path to Stressville. By focusing on the here and now, you’re essentially giving your mind a break from the things that stress you out. It’s a bit like telling your brain, “Hey, let’s take a breather from all that what-if and remember-when drama, and just be in the moment for a bit.”

It can also improve your mood and your emotional wellbeing, because when you’re fully engaged in the present you tend to notice and appreciate the small joys and pleasures of life a lot more which can lead to a greater sense of gratitude and contentment.

It also helps to improve the quality of your relationships, because being present means you’re more tuned-in to the people around you and better able to connect with them. It’s about really listening when someone talks, not just waiting for your turn to speak or thinking about your grocery list; when you really listen, it can lead to much deeper and more meaningful connections. 

And, on top of all that, living in the present is a key component of mindfulness, which is all about being aware of your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. It’s like being the calm in the centre of the emotional storm, able to observe your feelings without being overwhelmed by them.

So, in essence, living in the present is about finding balance. It’s not about ignoring the past or future, but instead it means not letting them overshadow the here and now. It’s about enjoying the journey, rather than just fixating on the destination.

So, how do you do that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…

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And welcome back!

Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about… 

How to be more fully in the present

So, first, start small — here’s what I want you to do daily for the next month: find five minutes in your day, every day, to just be. No phones, no screens, no music, no books, no distractions; just you and the present moment. Set a five minute timer and then… just sit and be. Gently notice what you see, what you hear, what you feel, what you smell and what you taste without judgement, and let yourself just experience five minutes of being present. If your thoughts wander, gently bring your focus back to the present. If it helps, watch the clouds in the sky or the trees gently swaying in the breeze as a way to help you anchor your focus in the present moment. The whole point of this exercise is to show yourself that you can be present and peaceful, even if just for a few minutes a day. Don’t worry if you find it hard at first; just keep doing it daily for an entire month, and I guarantee you that by the end you’ll be calmer and much more able to focus. OK, next… 

Daily reflection — at the end of each day, spend a few minutes reflecting on what happened and what you’re taking away from the day. Think about the things that made you happy, what you learned, and how you felt. This practice helps to process the day’s events and brings a more conscious awareness to your daily experiences. I have a simple reflection tool available via my website; it’s about $9 US Dollars (depending on the exchange rate) and will help you to reflect in a simple-yet-structured way (you’ll find it linked in the episode description or just head to ltamh.com). OK, next… 

Keep a worry journal — look, worries don’t just disappear out of your head because you tell them to, do they? In fact, I think that’s a surefire way to make them even louder and more insistent! Instead of letting them take your focus away from the present, write them down in a worry journal and allocate a specific time of the day where you deal with worries; outside of that time, your agreement to yourself is to write them down and deal with them at the next designated worry time. When it’s time to review your worries, you’ll generally find one of two things will happen: either it won’t seem as important anymore, or you’ll be in solution-mode when you look at them (since worries require solutions, not focusing on the problem) so you’ll be more inclined to tackle them than if you just let them go round and round in your head all day long. I covered worry back in Episode 95 so you’ll find that helpful to review. OK, next… 

Work on letting go — look, going over and over what happened in the past really isn’t helping you, is it? All it’s doing is stressing you out about something that cannot be changed. Ever. What’s done is done and what is is what is, so you need to let yourself feel what you need to feel and then find acceptance with the situation or relationship in order to let go and move forward. ‘Acceptance’ doesn’t mean that you like or endorse whatever happened; it simply means that you recognise you cannot change what happened or didn’t happen, only what you choose to do moving forward. I’ve covered a few topics that you’ll find helpful here: ruminating in Episode 116, acceptance in Episode 36, and letting go in Episode 32 (all my past episodes are available wherever you get your podcasts, or you can read the full transcript and listen to them at ltamh.com under the ‘Episodes’ tab on the menu). Alright, so my next tip is… 

Mono-tasking — OK, so, if you’re a regular listener then you’ll be aware of just how often I encourage you to take things one day at a time, one step at a time… well, this tip is about doing one thing at a time. All of those suggestions are about focusing on the now and allowing yourself to let go of stress and worry. Trying to do multiple things at once just doesn’t work; I mean, there’s a good reason why it’s illegal to text and drive! When you divide your attention across multiple tasks you don’t ever end up giving anything 100%; instead, it’s more like 20% here and 45% there, and the next thing you know things have taken you three times as long as they could have and the quality is significantly lower… plus it’s a lot harder to regulate your emotions when you’re juggling multiple things at once, so it can be a lot easier to become overwhelmed or to lose your temper. Focus on one thing at a time and give it your full attention; not only will the result be better, you’ll feel more grounded (and less stressed) as well. OK, next… 

Breathe — and yes, you can start being present with something as simple as focusing on your breath! This brings your attention back to a basic and vital function that’s always occurring in the present, helping to anchor your focus in the ‘now’. You can do this by taking a few minutes each day to just sit and observe your breath. Notice the sensation of air entering and leaving your nostrils, or your chest rising and falling. Another simple technique is my next tip…

Savour your food — try turning your meals into a mindfulness exercise, which is helpful because eating is a sensory experience that’s easy to engage with. Next time you eat, do it slowly. Notice the flavours, textures, and smells of your food. Chew deliberately. This not only enhances your dining experience but it also serves to keep you focused on the present. Another way to do that is…

Try mindful showering — transform your daily shower into a simple mindful experience! Instead of rushing through it or planning your day, focus on the sensation of water on your skin, the sound of the water, the smell of your soap. This turns a routine activity into a refreshing present-focused experience. OK, next…

Practice mindful listening — when you’re talking to someone, really listen to what they’re saying; that means without planning your response or thinking about something else. Not only does it focus you on the present, it also improves the quality of your connections with other people. Actively listen, nod, and engage with what the other person is saying. It’s about quality of conversation, not just the exchange of words. Next…

Spend time in nature — the natural world is a powerful anchor to the present. Whether it’s a walk in the park or just sitting in your garden, notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. The simplicity and beauty of nature can draw you effortlessly into the present moment. Next…

Mindful movement — engage in activities like yoga, tai chi, or even simple stretching. These practices combine movement and breath, bringing your attention to physical sensations and movements, and anchoring you in the present. Plus, they’re great for your physical and mental health! OK, next…

Do a body scan meditation — take a few minutes to mentally scan your body from head to toe. Notice any sensations, tensions, or discomfort. This not only helps in relaxation but it also brings your awareness to the present, to your physical being. Another way to do that is with my next tip… 

Listen to music mindfully — choose a song and really listen to it. Focus on the different instruments, the lyrics, the rhythm. This helps because music can be an immersive experience, pulling you into the present. It’s also a simple way to relax (depending on what style of music you choose); close your eyes and let the melody carry you away from your thoughts (a bit easier to do with, say, lo-fi or classical; maybe a bit less-so if you choose thrash metal or techno!). OK, next… 

Try mindful waiting — and by that I mean to turn waiting time into a quick opportunity for mindfulness practice. Whether you’re in a queue or waiting for a webpage to load, use this time to take deep breaths, notice your surroundings, and relax your body. This makes waiting less tedious and more like a mini-relaxation session. Next… 

Try the ‘thank you’ practice — so, throughout your day, try mentally saying ‘thank you’ for every small thing you encounter: the warmth of the sun, a comfortable chair, a working computer. This practice cultivates a habit of noticing and appreciating the present moment a lot more. Speaking of saying ‘thank you’, my next tip is… 

Incorporate gratitude practice into your routine — each day, write down three to five things you’re grateful for, which helps to shift your focus onto the positive aspects of your present life. Reflecting on what you appreciate now brings your mind back to the present, and it helps to foster a positive mindset. Like I said earlier, I have a simple tool available to buy on my website that helps you to build a daily gratitude practice as well as incorporating reflection into your routine; it’s available at the link in the episode description. Next… 

Say it out loud — when you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the present by softly speaking a mindful reminder, like “Be here now”. Saying it out loud can be a powerful cue to refocus your attention on the present moment. OK, next… 

Allocate certain times of the day to be device-free — look, being connected constantly can (and does) pull you away from the present. Even an hour without screens allows you to engage more fully with your immediate environment, be it reading a book, chatting with a friend, or simply sitting in silence.

And for more tips on how to live in the present to create a better future, watch my latest video; it’s out now on YouTube and Spotify, and it’s linked in the episode description.

Summary and Close-out

Because when it comes to the present and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: Living in the present is about embracing life as it unfolds, moment by moment. It’s a gentle-yet-profound shift from being a distracted bystander in your life to being an active and engaged participant. Remember, like any skill, living in the present takes practice… not to mention time, effort and perseverance. But the more you do it, the more natural it becomes… and before you know it, you’ll find yourself enjoying those little moments of ‘now’ a whole lot more!

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by Maya Angelou, and it is:

“The wisest thing you can do is be present in the present. Gratefully.”

Maya Angelou

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

What’s the main thing you’re taking away from this episode? If you’re listening on Spotify you can answer in the Q&A section below; on any other platform you can let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or by commenting on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week, along with my newsletter Thursday Thoughts; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. Plus if you’d like more tips then follow me on my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, and support my work plus get early access to ad-free episodes on Patreon. 

Next week I’ll be talking about resentment. If there’s anything guaranteed to destroy a relationship, whether that’s a personal connection or a professional one, it’s resentment… that bitter sense of indignation at having been treated poorly or unfairly. Figuring out how to get past your resentment can be tough, especially if things aren’t resolved in a satisfactory way… but moving forward in a healthy way means learning how to leave the baggage of resentment in the past. How do you do that? Well, that’s what I’m talking about next time! I’ll be covering what resentment is, why dealing with it matters, and how to work through feelings of resentment.

I hope you’ll join me for that episode, which will be released on Sunday the 28th of January, 2024.

Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media, helping you find gratitude and meaning. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com

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The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.