What does ‘being hopeful’ mean? Can hope actually change things for the better, or is it just a comforting illusion? And is hope something you’re either born with or not, or is it a skill you can develop and strengthen?
That’s what I’m talking about this week here on Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast that makes mental health simple. So, get comfortable, and let’s talk!
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Read the full episode transcript:
This podcast episode was originally released on 14 January, 2024.
Hello and welcome to Episode 214 of Let’s Talk About Mental Health, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about being hopeful and mental health!
I’m Jeremy Godwin and I teach you how to look after your mental wellbeing, with practical tips you can apply immediately based on quality research and my own experience of learning to live with anxiety and depression after a breakdown in 2011 that changed my life. Each week I teach you simple ways to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing.
In this episode I’ll be talking about what ‘being hopeful’ really means (and what it doesn’t), why it matters, and how to improve your sense of hopefulness.
So, let’s talk about being hopeful!
Introduction
One of the most renowned and celebrated philosophers of our time, Hannah Montana, declared in her self-titled 2009 film that, “Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side, It’s the climb…”
Now, if you spend a little time listening to that song (which is called The Climb, funnily enough), you’ll come to learn from our wise young sage that it is in, in fact, all about the climb; not 80% about it, not even 90%, but 100% about the climb… and that’s an important lesson to learn upfront in an episode all about how to be more hopeful, because finding success and happiness in life doesn’t mean the absence of trials and tribulations along the way, but the ability to triumph in spite of your challenges and rise above… to keep on moving, keep climbing.
Why am I starting this episode with a dramatic interpretation of a song from a movie over a decade ago? Well, first, because it made me laugh (and I hope it gave you at least a chuckle, or maybe a mini “ha ha”), but secondly (and primarily) I did it because there’s just so much helplessness and hopelessness around at the moment.
Sometimes it feels like the ideas of positivity, optimism and hope have just gone out the window and instead we live in this weird world where bad stuff continues to happen (as it has done since the dawn of time) yet now we attack one another instead of turning our outrage and anger against the perpetrators; I mean, individual people are not directly responsible for the decisions and actions of their governments. They are, however, responsible for using their voice and taking action if and when it is safe to do so.
Anyway, my point is that the world’s a bit of a mess and so many people seem to have gone full hot-mess along with it; there’s this bizarre thing I keep seeing online of people spouting kindness and then attacking others which has me constantly shaking my head, but in spite of all that I’m still hopeful and I still believe in the innate good that exists in the majority of my fellow human beings, which means I know that things can and will get better… with time, effort and perseverance. But more on that later.
Now, hope is a topic I covered broadly all the way back in Episode 17, which came out in early February 2020… so either the Universe had a real sense of humour or I had impeccable timing since I seem to recall the world went a bit mad not long after that, and hope was definitely something we all needed a lot more of! That episode was very philosophical (as a lot of my earlier episodes tended to be) and so, in this episode, I want to focus a lot more practically on how to be more hopeful in spite of whatever’s going on in your life or in the wider world… I mean, there’s always something isn’t there? Am I right?!
So, let’s get into some definitions and let’s talk about…
What does ‘being hopeful’ really mean?
Being hopeful is like a feeling that guides us through the good times and the tough times, lighting up the path ahead, and showing us that, yes, there’s something bright and positive out there, even if we can’t see it just yet. It’s about expecting good things to happen, not in a ‘fingers crossed, let’s hope the lottery comes through’ kind of way (shame), but more like a ‘the sun will come out tomorrow’ mindset (feel free to break into song if you’re a fan of Annie the Musical). It’s the belief that no matter how cloudy it gets, there’s always a sunny spell just around the corner. In short, it’s faith that things can — and will — get better.
Now, in mental health terms, hopefulness takes on a bit of a deeper role. Here, it’s not just about expecting good things; it’s about having a sense of purpose and a belief in a brighter future. It means trusting in your ability to cope with the challenges thrown your way and working through things one day at a time. It’s like having a good pair of rain boots on a rainy day; it doesn’t stop the rain, but it sure helps you to wade through the puddles with a bit more confidence (not to mention dry feet).
The thing is that life likes two things, mainly: being referred to as a highway (if you believe the Tom Cochrane song Life is a Highway, from 1991), and throwing curveballs at us left, right and centre (I believe a ‘curveball’ may be a sports metaphor, possibly from golf, but I’m yet to confirm this information). You’ll often hear me pointing out that the future is both unknown and unknowable, and that’s because there are so many variables that go into just getting each of us through the day — figure out what to wear, blame it on the train but the boss is already there (yes, I’m quoting Manic Monday by 80s band The Bangles, I love them) — so the point is that it’s impossible to be prepared for all the things that will come our way. All we can really do is work on building and maintaining our resilience (which I covered in Episode 23) so that we’re prepared for whatever comes our way, and focus on being hopeful and optimistic that things will turn out for the best. Which they usually do, thankfully.
So let’s talk about what ‘being hopeful’ isn’t, and it isn’t naïve, or silly, or foolish, or weak, or pathetic. It takes strength to keep going in spite of adversity and to not give in to fear and pessimism, especially when everyone else is running around saying that the sky is falling when it’s not. We live in challenging times, but I would argue that we’ve never not lived in challenging times; it’s just that the news media and people online seem to forget about the past and instead like to turn their hysteria towards trying to fan the flames of chaos even brighter so they can feed off of it. Being hopeful is the choice that prioritises peace of mind and, beyond that, being hopeful is kindness in action.
OK, now let’s talk about…
Why being hopeful matters
Generally speaking, being hopeful is a bit like having a good friend who’s always whispering encouraging things in your ear. It’s important because it keeps us going, even when the going gets tough. Imagine you’re in a boat in the middle of a choppy sea; hope is that lighthouse in the distance, assuring you that land is near. It fuels our motivation, keeps our spirits up, and basically acts as a mental energy drink (minus the jitters and the crash afterwards!).
Hopefulness is also linked to better coping strategies. Instead of panicking or giving up, people who are more hopeful tend to find creative and effective ways to tackle problems; they’re a bit like the MacGyvers of mental health, just give them a paperclip and a rubber band and they’ll find a way to keep moving forward!
Hope is also often linked to overall life satisfaction and greater well-being, and it’s no surprise really; it’s the difference between seeing your glass as half-empty or half-full (and being grateful there’s something in the glass at all!). Hopeful people tend to enjoy life more and feel more positive about the future.
It’s worth noting that hope can be a powerful ally in building stronger relationships as well. When you’re hopeful, you tend to be more open, more positive, and more engaging with others, both at home and at work.
Also, let’s not forget the role of hopefulness in goal-setting and achievement. Hopeful people are like the captains of their own ships, setting their compasses towards their goals with a belief that they can reach them. This isn’t about blind optimism, but rather a confident, steady approach towards achieving what they set out to do. They’re more likely to persist in the face of challenges and view obstacles not as roadblocks, but as stepping stones.
In terms of your mental health, hopefulness is incredibly helpful. For starters, it reduces stress. Think of it as a stress sponge, soaking up those niggling worries and anxieties, and it also enhances your resilience, which is your ability to bounce back from setbacks, and so both of these factors can improve your mental health as well as your physical health.
Hope plays a crucial role in battling symptoms of depression and anxiety. It acts as a natural antidote to feelings of despair, worry and anxiety. Instead of being overwhelmed by a sense of doom or panic, hopefulness provides a lens through which we can view life’s challenges in a much more manageable and less intimidating light.
It can also improve your sense of purpose and meaning in life (and I just covered finding meaning in Episode 213). It’s not just about looking forward to the future; it’s about actually seeing yourself as the key player in shaping and creating that future for yourself. This sense of purpose can be a really powerful motivator, driving you to engage more fully with life, pursue personal growth, and contribute to the world around you.
So, hopefulness isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s a must-have. It’s the thing that drives us forward, the faith that helps us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not just about seeing the silver lining in every cloud; it’s about knowing that even the cloudiest days have value and that the sun is always there, waiting to shine through. After all, no storm lasts for forever. When you choose to be hopeful, you’re choosing to live your life to its fullest in spite of the challenging times we might have to deal with sometimes.
So, how do you do that? Well, let’s first take a quick break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week…
AD BREAK
And welcome back!
Now let’s get into the how-to part of today’s episode and let’s talk about…
How to improve your sense of hopefulness
OK, so let’s start with actively focus on the positive — because whether you look for the negative or the positive, what you seek is what you shall find. Our focus determines where our energy goes, and so you can either focus on problems — and then see more and more problems to deal with — or you can turn your attention to solutions… which will help you to see more and more solutions. I covered focus back in Episode 86 if you’d like to explore further. OK, next…
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Why? Well, basically for the same reason as I just said in the previous point: what you focus on will determine what you focus on, and the same goes for how the people around you influence your focus. Optimism and hope are contagious, and so being around hopeful people can naturally boost your own levels of hopefulness. You can do this by reaching out to friends who lift you up, joining groups or clubs that align with your interests, or even engaging with positive online communities. OK, next…
Set small, achievable goals — think of your journey towards hopefulness as a series of stepping stones. Start with small goals that you can work on and achieve, one by one, helping to create a sense of accomplishment and forward momentum. Pick something small but meaningful, like reading a book you’ve been putting off or starting a simple exercise routine. The key is to celebrate these small victories, which reinforce the belief that bigger goals are attainable too. Over time, this helps to build a stronger sense of belief in yourself and that helps to build a more positive mindset. Another way to do that is with my next point…
Develop coping strategies for setbacks — accept that setbacks are part of life, and develop strategies for when things don’t go as planned. This helps to prepare you for life’s inevitable ups and downs, helping you to feel more resilient and stable in spite of challenges and serving to keep hope alive even in tough times. You can do this by learning relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation, and having a ‘go-to’ plan for rough days, like talking to a friend or going for a walk. OK, next…
Practice gratitude — keeping a gratitude journal can shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life, and it helps to foster a positive mindset, which is essential for hope. Each morning or every night, write down three things you’re thankful for; you can build on this over time. They can be as simple as a sunny day or a good cup of coffee. This practice trains your brain to spot the good in life, paving the way for more hopefulness. Next…
Engage in positive self-talk — because the way you talk to yourself matters, so this is about replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations. This is helpful as it rewires your brain to be more optimistic. When you think negatively, choose to consciously switch focus to a positive or hopeful statement. For example, replace “I can’t do this” with “I’ll do my best and see how it goes”. OK, next…
Limit time on social media — look, social media can be great… but it can also be a gigantic mess worthy of flushing down the toilet. Very often you’ll find posts that contort our perception of reality, leading to feelings of inadequacy, or that take one event and blow it out of proportion (or twist it to fit with someone else’s agenda) and the next thing you know everyone’s either angry or fearful, or angry and fearful, and we’re all squabbling like a bunch of children (but with much nastier words). Cutting back on social media really can help you to maintain a more hopeful perspective, helping by reducing comparisons and unrealistic expectations. Set specific times for social media use and stick to them, or try a ‘digital detox’ for a period. And if you get that dopamine hit from being in amongst the digital fray, why not choose to get your fix from somewhere or something a lot less toxic; go for a brisk walk or a run, take up competitive ice sculpting, dress as a bumblebee on your daily commute… I don’t know, just find something that doesn’t involve putting up with pettiness, bigotry and nastiness online from KindnessGuru89 (sorry if that’s a real username; if it is, hope they’re kind!). OK, next…
Limit your exposure to news media — look, its easy to be bombarded with negative news (or as it’s officially known, “the news”) but you can still be informed while limiting your exposure. Constantly being bombarded with disasters, violence and mayhem is enough to make anyone lose hope; I just jumped online to look at the headlines here today and it’s war, government money drama, abuse, natural disaster, murder, another murder, another war, abuse, exploited workers, angry citizens, and sport. In that order. Now, I was in and out in a minute or two; imagine watching rolling coverage of that 24/7? I’d be curled up in a ball on the floor waiting for the end of days! Stay informed, but limit your exposure. Allocate specific times for news consumption and choose reputable sources, and balance it with positive news or uplifting content. OK, next…
Embrace learning and growth — by adopting a mindset of continuous learning and growth, you’ll begin to see challenges as opportunities to learn rather than insurmountable obstacles. Take up a new hobby, learn a new skill, or read about topics that interest you, and embrace the journey of learning as an exciting part of life. OK, next…
Practice living in the present — nobody knows for certain what will or will not happen tomorrow, so anchoring your focus in the present moment helps to reduce worry and stress, making space for more positive emotions. Try daily mindfulness exercises, like focused breathing, mindful eating, or simply being fully present in your day-to-day activities. I’ll be talking about how to be more present in next week’s episode, so check that out as well. OK, next…
Volunteer or help others — because giving and helping others can boost your sense of purpose and hopefulness, creating a ripple effect of positivity and shifting your focus from your own challenges, as well as fostering a sense of community and connection. Volunteer at a local charity, help a neighbour, or try my next tip…
Perform random acts of kindness — you can do little things for people, regardless of whether you know them or not, and create small moments of hope and joy that have the potential to spread. Leave a positive note in a library book, let another driver in while driving, pay for the person behind you at a coffee shop… random acts of kindness can cost little or even nothing, and can have an enormous impact. Just don’t film it and put it on TikTok so you look like a hero; that kind of takes away from the simple and pure pleasure of it. Plan to do one random act of kindness each week, but in a way that’s fun and creative. The more unexpected, the better! OK, next…
Practice generosity — being generous not only helps others but it can also boost your own sense of well-being and hope, creating a positive feedback loop and reinforcing a sense of purpose and interconnectedness. Donate to a cause you care about, offer your time or skills to someone in need, or simply practice small acts of generosity in your everyday life. The more you give, the more you receive in return! Alright, so my next tip is…
Adopt a plant — and yes, yes, yes, this is a bit random, but bear with me. There’s something inherently hopeful about nurturing a living thing, so why not get yourself a plant, maybe something a bit unusual like a bonsai tree or a quirky succulent, and watch it grow and thrive under your care, which can be a powerful metaphor for your ability to cultivate growth and hope in your own life. Choose a plant that resonates with you, learn about its care, and make it a part of your daily routine to tend to it. It’s a small but meaningful act of nurturing hope. You could consider a pet, but please try your skills out on a plant first before you go for something that requires even more attention and commitment (and be sure you have the time and willingness to look after a living being, because they’re a lot of responsibility and pets take work); in the words of Edina’s assistant Bubble in Absolutely Fabulous, “It’s not just for life, it’s for Christmas.” (That’ll make sense if you’ve seen the episode, otherwise just hear my point about pets being a long-term decision). OK, next…
Connect with nature — because spending time in nature can be incredibly rejuvenating and hope-inspiring. Nature’s beauty and resilience can be a powerful reminder of life’s wonders, and it provides a sense of peace and perspective. Make time for regular walks in a park, hikes, or simply sit outside and appreciate your surroundings. Next…
Practice patience — look, sometimes hopefulness requires the patience to see things through. Understanding that not all changes or improvements happen overnight is key, because it aligns your expectations with reality and prevents disappointment. When you find yourself becoming impatient, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that progress often takes time, effort and perseverance. Celebrate small milestones along the way as part of your larger journey.
And for tips on how to stop feeling hopeless, watch my latest video; it’s out now on YouTube and Spotify, and it’s linked in the episode description.
Summary and Close-out
Because when it comes to being hopeful and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: Hope is so much more than just a fleeting emotion; it’s a dynamic and accessible tool that we can all harness. Whether it’s by setting small goals, embracing the beauty of nature, or engaging in acts of kindness, each step you take towards increasing your sense of hopefulness is a step towards a brighter, more resilient future… for you and for the rest of us.
The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today?
Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by Martin Luther King Jr., and it is:
“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.
What’s the main thing you’re taking away from this episode? If you’re listening on Spotify you can answer in the Q&A section below; on any other platform you can let me know on Instagram @ltamentalhealth or by commenting on the transcript, which you can have delivered to your inbox each week, along with my newsletter Thursday Thoughts; sign up at ltamh.com or use the link in the episode description. Plus if you’d like more tips then follow me on my other Instagram account @itsjeremygodwin, and support my work plus get early access to ad-free episodes on Patreon.
Next week I’ll be talking about the present. This moment, right now, is the only one we have for certain (so thanks for spending it with me!), and yet even though we instinctively know that the present is the place where life is truly lived, most of us spend a lot of our time either ruminating over the past or worried about the future… but if you want peace of mind, you need to learn how to live more in the present moment. How do you do that? Well, that’s what I’m talking about next time! I’ll be covering what ‘the present’ means, why it matters, and how to be more fully in the present.
I hope you’ll join me for that episode, which will be released on Sunday the 21st of January, 2024.
Thank you very much for joining me today. Look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!
Jeremy 🙂
Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media, helping you find gratitude and meaning. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com
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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.
Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2023 Jeremy Godwin.
The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.
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