Let’s Talk About… Finding Purpose

By Jeremy Godwin

How do you find a sense of purpose in your life, and how does that help to improve your mental health and wellbeing? That’s what I’m talking about this week on… Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast about looking after your wellbeing, with simple ideas you can put into practice immediately. So, get comfortable, and Let’s Talk About Mental Health…

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Listen to this episode on Spotify:

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Read the full episode transcript:

This podcast episode was originally released on 25 September, 2022.

Hello and welcome to the 150th episode of my podcast, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about finding purpose and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I share simple ideas for better mental health. 

I spent most of the 2010’s dealing with severe anxiety and depression, after a breakdown in late 2011, which led me to want to learn more about my mental health… so I went back to school and studied psychology and sociology, and now I share simple tips for how to improve your mental wellbeing, from someone who actually understands what it’s like to go through mental health challenges. 

Each episode I look at how to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing. In this episode I’ll be talking about what finding purpose is (and what it isn’t), why finding purpose matters, and how to find a greater sense of purpose in your life. So, let’s talk about finding purpose!

Introduction

Who are you and what do you want out of life? Those are two enormous questions and, quite frankly, they’re fairly overwhelming for the majority of us… and with good reason! Because there’s a general expectation that by the time we reach adulthood that we’re supposed to have figured out who we are and what we want to do with the rest of our lives… and I don’t know about you, but when I was 18 I had absolutely no idea where I wanted to live, let alone what I wanted to do with the rest of my life! I’m 46 now and I still don’t completely know what I want out of life, and that’s OK… because part of the joy of being human is in the ‘figuring out’ of all of this stuff, and just when you think you’ve figured one thing out life tends to then take your focus down a different path which then leads you to find a whole bunch of new things to figure out!

If this topic seems vaguely familiar to regular listeners then you’re right; I covered purpose all the way back in February 2020 in Episode 20. So why am I revisiting it now? Well, as I said at the end of last week’s episode, there are two reasons. Number one, I feel like something big might have happened in the world just a few weeks after I released that episode originally… I mean, I don’t know, a lot of people seem to want to pretend that it never happened, but I seem to remember the world going into a near-total meltdown in March 2020, which we’re still feeling the effects of now and will continue to do so for years to come, and so much of the world has now changed since then that, frankly, that episode seems like a quaint time-capsule from a distant land. The pandemic has forced so many of us to reconsider what truly matters to us in life and how we can each create a sense of purpose and meaning in spite of living in uncertain times. And the other reason I decided to revisit this topic is that there is so much more to say on the topic than what I said back then; the episode is a good one and it stands on its own, and while there will be a little bit of crossover in terms of some of the key messages I share here today, I won’t be sharing the same content and tips because I think that the way I write these episodes is very different now than it was back then, and I’m certainly far more confident in speaking my mind without second-guessing how it will come across.

So let me just get this statement out of the way before I go any further: I no longer search for my ‘true’ purpose. Seriously. Which might sound weird since I’ve been doing this podcast for almost three years now and I’m celebrating my 150th episode this week (and feeling very grateful to have reached this milestone with all of you wonderful people supporting me, so thank you very much and here’s to the next 150!).

So I guess, based on that, you might be wondering why I stopped searching for my purpose in life? Here’s why: I am a human being with purpose, rather than one with a purpose. See the distinction? 

What I mean is that I, like you, do not just have one purpose in life and one purpose only. I can do and be almost anything I set my mind to (except maybe a chair; I have trouble sitting still for too long) and so why would I limit myself to just one purpose for the rest of my life? 

In a world where we have infinite possibilities, there are infinite ways for you to focus on creating purpose in your life. Although, I will say that I believe that there is a purpose to life: the purpose is to focus every day on finding greater purpose and meaning in everything you do so that you’re not just going through the motions and punching your time-card until you finally check out… but I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, so before I start diving into tips for finding purpose let’s first talk through some definitions and let’s talk about…

What is purpose?

And it’s a bit of an existential one, the idea of purpose, because it describes the reason we do things or why we exist, as well as describing our sense of resolve or determination (and that definition comes from the Oxford Dictionary). 

Let me pick up on that idea of a ‘reason’. Aside from the reason being a 2003 song by Hoobastank, it describes (and I quote from the dictionary again) “a cause, explanation or justification for an action or event.” So, in short, basically it’s our way of trying to figure out the meaning of life; why are we here, and what are we supposed to do with our lives? It’s a good question, and if you ever totally figure it out then do let me know… but given that human beings have been trying to work that one out since the beginning of time, I’d say it’s a fair bet that none of us are ever going to be able to settle on one single answer that makes everyone happy. 

Because what ‘purpose’ means to me is going to be different to you, and to the next person, because we are all unique individuals with our own unique outlook on the world… but rather than letting that fact make your head explode, or filling you with dread, I think it’s actually quite exciting. Why? Because if none of us are born with an instruction manual for this thing we call life, that means we get to create it for ourselves… and that’s where things become really interesting to someone like me who is a total nerd about personal development, psychology and sociology!  

Your purpose is fairly simple: be the best version of yourself possible and grow a little each day, and you do that by doing no harm, being kind and giving more than you take. Everything else in life is the stuff you fill in the blanks with; you have a block of time in your life, and it’s up to you to decide what to do with it. Life is a journey, and you get to decide on the scenery you want along the way and which stops you want to make. 

So many of us spend our time wondering what our purpose is and whether we’re doing enough with our lives, and I think the more important question is this: are you doing something, anything, with your time on this planet that feels meaningful? It doesn’t have to be your whole time, but some time. That’s going to look and feel differently to different people: some might feel drawn to write or sing or act, for others it might be raising a family or being a carer for a loved one. The point is to ensure that whatever it is feels like it has at least some meaning to it, like you’re not just going through the motions… because that’s what leads to feelings of sadness and disappointment. Never allow yourself to just go through the motions in life!

Let me take a moment to talk about what purpose is not and I have a few opinions here (what a surprise, right?!). First, it’s not something that’s decided for you at birth and that you then have to try and figure out. And it’s also not fixed, because you are a human being who can grow and evolve and so that naturally means that what feels purposeful and meaningful to you will grow and evolve, and that’s OK. Here’s the thing: your ‘purpose’ is not set in stone and it’s not meant to be a mystery that requires you to take a $12,000 course to discover. 

OK, so with all of that in mind now let’s talk about…

Why finding purpose matters

And it matters because without a sense of direction you’ll just wander through life trying to figure out why nothing feels fulfilling, and that leads to issues with your mental health. 

You know, I feel like the work I do now gives me a sense of purpose but I fell into this work. After about six months of working with my psychologist I remember having a moment of clarity in a session where I thought, “I’d like to do this work and help other people going through what I’m going through” — that’s what led me to study, where I then realised I was going to have to make a six year commitment to become a registered psychologist, which is what led me to finish my studies when I completed my Bachelors, which then took me back to working in the business world for a while, which led me to start writing and creating ideas for this podcast because I needed a creative outlet, which then led to me going full-time creating this type of content, and then a listener reached out to me to see if I was available for coaching and counselling which is then how I started doing all of that as well. 

Is this my purpose? Will it still feel like my purpose in the future? I don’t know! But it’s what feels purposeful and meaningful to me now, at this point in my life, and who knows how I’ll feel about things in 5, 10, 15 years. We need to stop buying into this idea that we have to figure out our ‘one thing’ and stick to it for the rest of our lives; it’s an idea that has been reinforced to us time and time again since childhood when adults would ask us, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” — a question that reinforces the idea that you have to be one specific thing. You don’t. 

There is a big difference between feeling a sense of purpose in what you do versus having to find a purpose and stick to it; I can’t even stick to a hairstyle for too long, so forget about finding one purpose for the rest of my life! Forget about finding your purpose in life and focus on finding your purpose now, at this point in time, because that’s what helps you to feel like you’re doing something meaningful with your life. 

Having a sense of purpose in your life is about feeling like you’re doing something that means more than just ticking the boxes and feeding the global machine. According to an article in Forbes, 94% of millennials (which covers people aged 26-39 in 2022), and I quote, “want to use their skills to benefit a cause… [and] half [of them] value a career aligned with their values enough to take a pay cut” (and I’ll link that article in the transcript, which you can find at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au/episodes and it’s linked in the episode description — find it here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/meimeifox/2016/05/31/six-ways-to-discover-your-life-purpose/?sh=69ce4a57271c).  

So, how do you do all of that? How do you find purpose and meaning in your life? Well, let’s get into the how-to part of this episode and let’s talk about… 

How to find a greater sense of purpose in your life

OK, first, think about what you want — because, honestly sometimes I think we really over-engineer things so just try asking yourself this: what do you want out of life? It’s a simple question, even if it’s a big and broad one, and I think it’s best to just go with your gut instinct on it. And what if you really don’t know? Great! That means your purpose for now is to figure out what you want out of life. Maybe that will take you three months, six months, a year, whatever… make that your primary focus, do lots of research and explore new ideas without feeling like you have to settle on a decision until you’ve had enough time to look around at a whole bunch of things to find a few that you’d like to explore in more detail. Then, make it your purpose to find out more about those few things for another year or two so that you can then narrow your focus to the main one or two things that make you feel really excited. And please remember that what you want today isn’t necessarily going to be what you want tomorrow, because we all grow and evolve, so you should be asking yourself what you want out of life on a regular basis (ideally a couple of times a year at the very least). OK, next… 

Give yourself permission to try lots of things — because variety really is the spice of life (which seems to be a saying that has worked its way into quite a few episodes of both my podcast and my YouTube channel over the past few weeks!). Here’s a funny-slash-weird story to share: I keep on changing my profile on my @jeremygodwinofficial account on Instagram, and in my email signature, because I don’t like just settling for one or two words to describe what I do (and I outright refuse to call myself a content creator or influencer because I don’t personally connect with those terms; no disrespect to anyone who does). In terms of my work I am a writer, podcaster, YouTuber, coach and counsellor, plus I do business consulting around mental health and wellbeing. That’s six different things, not to mention all the things I do with my personal time. Treat your life like a pick-and-mix at the supermarket; create a selection of things that you enjoy, and every now and then try something new just to add some variety into the mix! Your life is an adventure, so treat it like one. You don’t have to narrow your focus to just one thing either… you can do and be lots of different things all at once. OK, next… 

Do what you feel passionate about — this probably seems like a really obvious one but you’d be surprised how many people think that they couldn’t possibly turn their passions into something more tangible. For example, if you really enjoy gardening then you could work in horticulture, or you could create a YouTube channel where you document your journey creating a garden from scratch. Or if you enjoy reading, you could become a writer or you could start an online book club (or a book club podcast) where you get to connect with fellow readers from around the world. You really are only limited by your imagination and your willingness to jump in and try something new without expectations of it working out; when you free yourself from expectations and just follow your passion, great things tend to happen over time. You don’t have to earn a million dollars from your passion in order for it to feel purposeful and meaningful. And that leads to my next point… 

Focus on simplicity — because when you get the basics right, by focusing on what truly matters to you and letting go of the stuff that doesn’t really matter, you’re able to slow down and that helps you to make space for things that feel purposeful to you. I talked about simplicity in Episode 63 and I also covered slowing down in Episode 140, plus I recently published a video about figuring out your priorities on my YouTube channel which I’ll link to in the episode description. I’m certainly not saying that you need to live a life of austerity and poverty in order to find meaning — I like nice things as much as the next person — but I am saying that when you slow down and go back to basics you can focus on the stuff that actually matters instead of working at a job you hate so you can buy ugly clothing designed by a celebrity. Honestly, I try not to single anybody out here in my podcast (and let me tell you that when I mentioned Madonna a few episodes ago there were several people that came for me!) but did anybody see the recent clothing collection from Kanye West that looks like rags and was even being presented in stores in great big trash bags? The dude has gone full Mugatu from Zoolander and people are still willing to pay far too much money for his clothes! Anyway, my point is that when you focus on simplicity and what actually matters then you won’t have to worry about finding $260 for a t-shirt (real prices by the way, I checked; that’s Australian dollars). What’s my point? Who knows at this stage…! Actually I am making a serious point here, because the choices you make have a cost to them (which I discussed in Episode 135, about choices) which can then push you to do things with your life that don’t feel meaningful. I’ve stayed at more than one terrible job for far too long because of massive credit card bills, which is why I now don’t use credit (but that’s a whole other story, and in fact I’ll be talking about money later in the year). And by the way, I love the irony that a tip about focusing on simplicity then ended up taking nearly 400 words to make because I went off on yet another tangent! Anyway, moving on with my next point…

Be present — or, in more direct terms, stop wishing your life away! Look, I get it, Friday is a great day and so no wonder we find ourselves looking forward to Friday (I do it too), but so is Monday because it’s a new beginning! And Tuesday is pretty cool too, because it’s not Monday… and so are all the days of the week for their own reasons. Instead of ‘working for the weekend’ (and yes, that is a slightly-obscure song by Loverboy released in 1981, thank you for noticing!), choose to turn your attention to each individual day and think about how you can make the most of it… because your life is lived every single day, not just on the weekends. If you’re doing the weekend-wishing thing because you’re bored with your job, there are two options: find interesting things to do outside of your job, or get a new job. Personally I’m a fan of doing both, but that’s me… please remember that life is too valuable to waste it doing work that feels completely meaningless, so if that’s the case then find something new. OK, next…

Lean in to what makes you unique — because there is nobody else on this planet with your exact set of life experiences and that is what makes you unique… so how can you use that? This involves getting to know yourself well, and I’ve released a few episodes that will be helpful: self awareness in Episode 63, values in Episode 138, beliefs in Episode 141 and needs in Episode 137 (and you may have noticed lately that a lot of my topics have been about digging deep into the core of who you are and what you want out of life, which is really interesting considering that I actually chose the order of these episodes randomly a few months ago!). Anyway… when you know who you are and what you bring to the world, you can then tap into everything that makes you ‘you’ in order to spend your time doing things that feel purposeful to you. OK, next… 

Learn new things — because when you learn, you grow… and when you grow, you evolve. I’m a big advocate of lifelong learning and building your capabilities, and I talked about capability in Episode 144, which is a really good one for figuring out how to approach learning new things and why it helps your mental health… the short version of that episode is that the opposite of growth is stagnation, and that’s not a particularly good thing to help you feel like you’re doing something meaningful with your life! Another part of learning is to figure out how to use your strengths, challenge your development opportunities (or accept and embrace them) and also look for different ways of doing things so that you can continually transform and grow (and I covered that last week in Episode 149, about metamorphosis). Alright, next… 

Get support — because two heads really are better than one! If you’re not clear on what you want out of life or what matters to you, work with a professional (like a coach, counsellor or therapist) or talk with a trusted friend, family member or mentor who you know can be objective and open-minded, because you’ll find that talking through a lot of the questions and ideas I’ve discussed today with someone else will help you to figure things out.

And you’ll find even more tips on this topic in the shorter video version of this episode on my YouTube channel, and it’s linked in the episode description. 

Summary and Close-Out

Because when it comes to finding purpose and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: It’s part of the human condition to wonder why we’re here and what we’re supposed to do with our lives, but there isn’t an easy answer to that because there isn’t a guidebook on how to be human. What it all comes down to is choice, and the choice of what you want to do with your time on this planet. Do you want to squander it or spend it getting into arguments with random people over stuff that just doesn’t matter? Or do you want to find calm and peace of mind, and to spend your time doing something that feels like it’s actually worth something in the big scheme of things? Because it’s up to you to decide what ‘purpose’ looks and feels like for you, and I think that when you choose to spend your time doing things that feel meaningful then you’ll feel a lot more satisfied with your life.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by the late Queen Elizabeth II, and it is:

“Over the years, those who have seemed to me to be the most happy, contented and fulfilled have always been the people who have lived the most outgoing and unselfish lives.”

Queen Elizabeth II 

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Next week I’ll be talking about empathy. Empathy is one of those skills that can completely change the way you interact with other people, because it speaks to your ability to show understanding for their situation rather than sorrow… and, frankly, understanding is something that is in short supply these days! And, more than that, empathy is something that you can — and should — show yourself on a regular basis, because it’s a very particular kind of self-compassion which is also in short supply! So, next time I’ll be talking about what empathy is (and what it isn’t), why empathy matters, and how to show yourself and others greater empathy. 

I hope you’ll join me for that episode, which will be released on Sunday the 2nd of October, 2022. 

You can find more content about better mental health in my book, Let’s Talk About Mental Health (Volume One); buy it now in print from Amazon or buy the eBook from Amazon or Apple Books, and it’s linked in the episode description or visit my website at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au.

Watch my weekly videos on YouTube for more tips on better mental health, plus sign up to my mailing list for my free weekly newsletter, Thursday Thoughts, where I share a quick dose of inspiration (and those are all linked in the episode description).

And if you find my content helpful then come and join me on Patreon where I offer exclusive benefits for my supporters. Plus you can find me on Instagram @ltamentalhealth and say hi!

Thank you very much for joining me today — look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2022 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.