Let’s Talk About… Routine

What is a healthy routine? What are some simple self care practices that actually work? And how can you build a routine for better mental health?

That’s what I’m talking about this week here on… Let’s Talk About Mental Health — the weekly podcast focused on helping you to improve your mental health, with simple ideas you can put into practice immediately. So, get comfortable, and Let’s Talk About Mental Health…

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This podcast episode was originally released on 16 April, 2023.

Hello and welcome to Episode 175, and thanks so much for joining me as I talk about routine and mental health!

I’m Jeremy Godwin and I share practical tips for improving your mental health based on quality research and my own personal experience of learning how to live with anxiety and depression following a breakdown in late 2011 that completely changed my life. Each week I look at how to improve one specific aspect of your wellbeing. 

In this episode I’ll be talking about what routine is, why routine matters for your self care, and how to build a balanced routine for the sake of your mental health. So, let’s talk about routine!

Introduction

Recently I had a fraudulent transaction on my card that I had to report to the bank; nothing too out-of-control (it was twenty-something dollars) and just one of the unfortunate realities we’ve all had to accept as we use our cards more and more online. Anyway, when the lady on the Fraud line went through the dodgy transaction details with me, I was able to say with absolute certainty that the transaction could not possibly have been initiated by me: it was an online transaction where the authorisation had been requested at 8:47pm on a Friday night, and I had definitely not put it through because I was in bed with the lights off at 8:30pm.

Now, I know how old that makes me sound — and I can practically hear the collective gasps of horror coming from many of you! — however don’t judge me; I get up at 4:45am every morning and go to bed at 8:30pm every night simply because that’s what works for me and for my partner. We’re both morning people and it helps us function better when we make an early start each day, and so that makes going to bed early a necessity. Our routine isn’t for everyone, but it’s what works for us. 

Getting into a routine took me ages and it’s only really been something I’ve solidified in the last few years, but what a difference it’s made! It’s the consistency in our routine that makes it so effective; by going to bed at the same time every night and rising at the same time every day, seven days a week, our body clocks aren’t constantly thrown into disarray by having varying wake/sleep times.

Anyway, this isn’t an episode about what time you should go to bed (although I will say that you need to make sure you get the right amount of sleep). This episode is about how to build a routine that’s right for you and how your self care rituals play an important role in your mental health.

So let’s go through some definitions and talk about…

What is routine?

A routine is basically a set of activities that you do regularly, often in a specific order or pattern. It can be something you do every day, every week, or even every month. Your routine might include things like exercising, doing chores around the house, working, taking care of yourself, socialising, etc.

Having a routine can give you some structure and predictability in your life. It can help you establish healthy habits, manage your time better, and reduce stress and anxiety. Plus, having a routine can help you feel like you have more control and stability in your life, which can be especially helpful during times when things feel uncertain or overwhelming.

Now, it’s important to not be completely rigid about your routine, and to allow space to be flexible and adaptable, because unexpected things can always happen. But the most important thing here is to think about how you can find a routine that works for you and that you can stick to over the long-term. Overall, having a routine can be a really helpful tool for improving your mental and physical health and your overall wellbeing.

According to This Way Up, a free Australian public mental health resource (and I quote): “Routines provide a positive structure to our day and help us better manage our mental health and wellbeing. Routines [tell us] when to eat, sleep, […] exercise, get sunlight, […] relax, and they give us more time for the things we value and enjoy. Establishing a daily routine can improve our relationships, physical health, productivity, focus and they have been shown to reduce stress. Routines can also help us cope with change when life is uncertain.”

And you’ll find that article linked in the transcript, which is available for free at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au/episodes in English, Spanish and Portuguese.

And so that leads to the next part of today’s topic, so now let’s talk about… 

Why routine matters for your self care

And it matters because without building a routine for yourself, as well as a routine around your self care, you’re very unlikely to be consistent with looking after yourself… which means you’re unlikely to be doing the things you need to do to rest, reset and recharge on a regular basis! And that means that if and when challenges arise, or other people put pressure on you or demand your time and attention, it’s easy to get distracted.

Having a daily routine, as well as including specific self-care practices, can help you to better manage stress and anxiety. When you make time for self-care activities on a regular basis, and build a consistent routine for yourself, you’re better able to cope with the challenges of daily life.

By establishing a consistent routine for your mental health and your self-care, you can ensure that you’re consistently making time to take care of yourself on a regular basis… because nobody is going to do it for you! And even if they wanted to, they can’t; self-care is something you have to do for yourself (it even tells you so in the title!). 

The idea of creating a routine applies to pretty-much every aspect of your life, and I’m sure you already have one in place for things like your work or your general weekly routine of what you do on specific days. This episode is focused on routines for your mental health, so if you’re looking for anything broadly organisation-related then I suggest doing a search on YouTube where you’ll find millions of videos about that stuff.

For your mental health and self care, the focus here is on establishing a process for looking after yourself that (a) feels comfortable, (b) doesn’t take you hours each day, and (c) actually works.

The simplest way I’ve found to do that is with a morning and evening routine that I use specifically for my mental health. I take about five minutes every morning (usually while I’m having my coffee) to work through several quick reflection exercises, and then I take another five minutes or so at the end of the day to reflect on the day (roughly half an hour before I go to bed), followed by reading for a while until it’s time for sleep. I’ll talk you through my process in a bit (when I get to the how-to section), and I’ve also just released a digital planning tool that you can buy from my website (and it’s linked in the episode description) which will help guide you every day through a more structured reflection routine for your mental health. 

So, I’ll come back to that routine in a minute, but first let’s take a moment to talk about what kinds of different things might need to be included in your general routine. Of course my regular daily routine will look different to yours as, you know, we all have different jobs and different commitments, but some of the things you might want to include are:

• Exercise
• Sleep
• Meal preparation
• Work or school responsibilities
• Hobbies or leisure time
• Family time
• Socialising
• Time with pets (if you have them)
• Mindfulness
• Journalling
• Housework
• Running errands
• Taking breaks throughout the day

And I’m sure there are many more I’ve forgotten about!

The point here is that by incorporating all of the activities that matter to you into some sort of routine, you can not only make sure that everything gets done that needs to be done (which is especially helpful when you’re busy or rushing around!), but you can also prioritise your self care and make sure that you’re taking care of all the different aspects of your wellbeing: physical, mental, spiritual, social, emotional and financial. And, most importantly, you can quickly see if anything is preventing you from giving yourself the time and attention you need to really look after yourself, because neglecting your own needs can lead to issues like stress and anxiety. By consistently looking after yourself, you can improve your mood, reduce stress, and improve your overall quality of life.

On the other hand, not having a consistent routine can have risks for your mental health. Without a regular routine, you may feel a sense of unpredictability in your life and a lack of control, which can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. 

Inconsistent routines can also make it difficult to establish healthy habits like exercise, healthy eating, and self-care, which can all impact on your physical and mental health. You might also struggle with low productivity and time management issues, which can then cause additional stress and frustration. Poor sleep quality is also a risk factor when we don’t have a regular routine, as our bodies may not be attuned to a specific sleep schedule; for example, when you have one routine during the week for work and then on the weekend you stay up all night and sleep most of the day, it can throw your body clock into disarray and make it hard to get yourself back on track during the week (I used to do that until I quit drinking back in 2018, and I found that the older I got the longer it would take to snap back from throwing my sleep cycle out of whack, which is one of the main reasons why I now go to sleep and wake up at basically the same time seven days a week — that’s been hugely effective for me over the past few years and it really helped to stabilise my mental health a lot more).

The other thing I want to mention is that not having a consistent routine can make things even more difficult during times of significant life changes or uncertainty, like during a major life transition or global event. In these situations, having a regular routine can provide a sense of stability and control that can help to reduce some of your stress and anxiety; think of your routine like an anchor, something that can keep you tethered and give you a safe harbour to come back to even when the winds of change are whipping you this way and that way like Willow Smith whipping her hair back and forth. [Laughs] So stupid!

Establishing a regular routine that works for you can help you to approach your wellbeing more thoughtfully, get more done, and improve your sense of self-awareness and self-compassion, all of which leads to better mental health.

So how do you do that? Well, let’s get into the how-to part of this episode and let’s talk about… 

How to build a balanced routine for the sake of your mental health

So, first, make a list of all the things that need to be built into your routine — and this is a simple brain dump exercise of taking everything out of your head that you can think of in terms of what you need to do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. Don’t bother filtering anything, and don’t overanalyse anything, just simply write a list of all of the things that you need to do.

Next, decide what things you actually need in your routine — and this is about making time for what really matters for you, which you might assume would have been automatically covered when you did the list from my last point… however, you’d be surprised by how many of us get caught up in doing things just because we feel obligated to, or because they’re already a part of our routine so we feel like they’re necessary when maybe they’re not, or perhaps there’s a different way of coming at them. For example, I have lots of little recurring tasks that need to be done on a weekly basis as part of my work, and although they form part of my routine, they don’t necessarily add value in terms of my priorities (because they’re simple administrative tasks); when I sat down and made a list of them and how long they take, I was shocked to discover it was basically five hours of work a week… which is a lot, especially given the fact that I’m committed to only working four days a week! So rather than allowing myself to remain chained to those tasks, I’m currently looking at options to work with someone to support me through those things that need to be done, and then freeing up some time for myself to be able to work on other things that do matter, and that do align more with my priorities. We all have stuff that needs to get done, but how it gets done is very often open to interpretation and negotiation! And that, not too surprisingly, leads to my next point… 

Remove anything that no longer serves you — letting go can be really tough however if something isn’t adding value to your life anymore, or if it’s detracting from your wellbeing and peace of mind, then it needs to go! There are only so many hours in the day and you need to make sure that your time is spent focused on the things that really matter to you, as well as your self-care practices (in order to recharge your batteries so you can keep going day after day!), so if that means that you need to say goodbye to some stuff then so be it! I’ve talked about this a fair bit recently — in Episode 171 about surrender, and in Episode 174 about peace of mind — and it should come as no surprise, for two reasons, that I’m now going to remind you that nothing changes if nothing changes: the first reason is that I say it about 85 times a week, and the second is that sometimes we need to make the tough decisions in life in order to make looking after ourselves the priority that it should be. And speaking of that, my next point is… 

Make space for you — because if you don’t look after yourself, then who will?! It doesn’t matter how much someone else cares for you; nobody can do the work for you to look after your wellbeing. You’re the only one who can do the physical exercise, who can eat a particular way, who can do the self-care practices and reflection activities and general actions for looking after your mental health like talking to someone and writing out your challenges, etc. So since nobody can do it for you, that means you need to do it for you… and in order to do that, you need to make space in your day and you need to make it a priority. In a minute I’ll give you a list of different things you can focus on, but first I want to spend a bit of time discussing my next tip… 

Incorporate daily reflection and self-care into your routine — and this is the one I mentioned earlier, where I talked about how I take just five minutes each morning and another five-or-so minutes in the evening (depending on the day and what’s happened) to do some structured reflection activities that help to keep me focused. I’ve created a digital planning tool for this, which is a PDF planner that you can edit on your phone, tablet or computer and use over and over again to get yourself into a daily habit of reflection and self-care. The good thing is that you only have to buy it once and then you can use as many times as you like (and it only costs $12.50 in Australian Dollars, which is about $9 US Dollars, so basically two cups of coffee — or one, depending on what city you live in!). The planner helps you to keep yourself on track every day using the approach that I’ve found really helpful for improving my own mental health; you’ll find it linked in the episode description and on my website. So here’s what I do: basically, I start my day by reflecting on what I’m most grateful for (I usually make a list of 5-10 things, and some of them are the same ones every day but I like to vary a couple of them as well to keep me focused on feeling grateful for things more generally), and then I also think about what my main intention is for the day (as in, what do I want the day to look and feel like, such as staying patient or being focused if I’m working on something specific). During the day, I track the food I eat (so I can better understand my eating habits), how much water I drink (because dehydration can lead to a lack of focus), what exercise I do and what self-care activities I undertake during the day (like making sure I take a full half-hour lunch break on work days, which I used to be terrible at doing, and making sure I don’t do work during my break); the reason I capture any self-care that I do is that I find documenting it helps to make it a priority. Then at night I do a more detailed reflection activity, for about five minutes, focused on the entire day. I rate my day, and then I think through the highlight and lowlight of my day, what the biggest thing was that I learned, something kind that I did for myself, what the biggest positive was that I’ll take away from the day, and how I plan to approach the following day in a positive way. So, as you can see, it’s a lot; it’s very detailed, but because I keep it quite targeted and focused around the things that are going to have the biggest impact on my mindset, it ends up taking a short amount of time to do, and after you’ve done it a few times you get into a routine with it… so that helps! The other great thing about doing it this way is that it’s part of my wind-down routine, and so once I’m done I’ll read for a while with the lights down as low as my eyes can manage and that tells my brain that it’s almost sleepy time. Anyway that’s the routine that works for me and it makes daily reflection a priority which, in turn, serves to help me process the stuff I need to process from each day so that I don’t carry it with me into the next day. Like I said before, my planner is available to buy and it’s linked in the episode description. So, that leads to my next point… 

Keep it simple — because the temptation can be to try to cram everything but the kitchen sink into your routine (or maybe even the kitchen sink as well!), but honestly don’t try to bite off more than you can chew because you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Figure out what is the absolute bare minimum that is going to give you the biggest bang for your buck in terms of your time and energy, and focus on that. If you’re adding new things into your routine, take your time and just focus on one new thing at a time so you don’t overwhelm yourself. And to be honest I think this is where my most commonly-shared piece of advice comes into play: one step at a time, one day at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day (which makes sense because that place is huge!), so give yourself time and keep on adapting and improving your routine as you go (plus it will likely need to evolve over time anyway, because what you need today isn’t necessarily what you’ll need tomorrow).

OK, so now I’m going to share with you some things you can incorporate into your routine for better mental health; they’re all fairly straightforward, so have a think about which ones fit for you and maybe try a couple, see how you go, and then come back and grab another couple of ideas later. OK, so the suggestions are:

• Incorporate exercise into your routine — because regular exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety, boost your mood, and improve your overall physical health. Next… 
• Set regular sleep and wake times — because going to bed and waking up at consistent times can help regulate your body clock and improve your overall sleep quality. Next…
• Schedule regular breaks — because taking breaks throughout the day helps you recharge and refocus, which can ultimately improve your productivity and overall wellbeing. Next… 
• Eat regular, balanced meals — because a balanced diet can help regulate your mood and energy levels and improve your overall physical health, which leads to better mental health as well. If you’re short on time, cook some meals in advance or find simple but nutritious options. Next… 
• Practice mindfulness or meditation — because incorporating mindfulness or meditation practices into your routine can help reduce stress and improve your ability to focus and relax. Next… 
• Set goals and prioritise tasks — because being thoughtful about your goals and tasks can help you to stay focused and motivated, and it can also give you a sense of accomplishment when you achieve your goals. Next… 
• Schedule in time for hobbies or leisure activities — because making time for the things that you enjoy can reduce stress and improve your wellbeing. Next… 
• Limit your use of social media and technology — because setting boundaries around your use of technology and social media can cut out distractions (I only use social media twice a day, and I have notifications turned off so they don’t keep stealing my focus), plus it can also free up your attention to do other things, like my next point…
• Connect with others — because spending quality time with friends and family, or participating in social activities, can bring you a sense of joy and fulfilment. Next… 
• Spend time outside — because getting out into nature can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve your mood, and promote wellbeing, so make time for outdoor activities like hiking or walking, or even just get outside and do some gardening or nature bathing… whatever works for you!

Summary and Close-Out

Because when it comes to routine and mental health, what it all boils down to is this: Building a routine is like creating a road map for your daily life. It helps you to create structure and predictability, establish healthy habits, manage your time effectively, and reduce stress and anxiety… all of which help to improve your mental health and general wellbeing. By following a routine, you can feel like you have more control and stability in your life, which can be especially helpful when things feel uncertain or overwhelming. But it’s also important to remember that life can throw us curveballs sometimes, so it’s important to be flexible and adaptable while still making sure you focus on the things that matter most to you. What works for one person might not work for someone else, so it’s about finding the right fit for you and creating a sustainable routine that you can stick to over the long-term.

The choice is yours, as it is with all things related to your wellbeing… so, what choice will YOU make today? 

Each week I like to finish up by sharing a quote about the week’s topic, and I encourage you to take a few moments to really reflect on it and consider what it means to you. This week’s quote is by an unknown author, and it is:

“Your success is found in your daily routine.”

Unknown

Alright… that’s nearly it for this week.

Next week I’ll be talking about red flags. When you’re dealing with other people, or situations in general, sometimes you can pick up on warning signs or things that don’t quite sit right with you… but what do you do if that happens? How do you know the difference between a red flag and an amber one (and why does that distinction matter)? And how do you proceed if you’re worried that there might be a problem? Well, those are all great questions that I’m going to be answering in the next episode of Let’s Talk About Mental Health! So next time I’ll be talking about what red flags are (and what they are not), why you need to pay attention to red flags, and how to deal with red flags in a thoughtful way.

I hope you’ll join me for that episode which will be released on Sunday the 23rd of April, 2023. Make sure you hit ‘follow’ on your preferred podcast platform to stay up-to-date with new episodes.

You can catch a mini video version of this episode, focused on how to build greater peace of mind, on Spotify and YouTube.

And if you’d like more inspiration for looking after your mental health then sign up for my free newsletter Thursday Thoughts plus follow my two Instagram accounts, @ltamentalhealth and @itsjeremygodwin, where I post extra content daily. And you can explore exclusive extra content plus early access to episodes by becoming a supporter on Patreon. You’ll find all of those linked in the episode description and in the transcript at letstalkaboutmentalhealth.com.au.

Thank you very much for joining me today — look after yourself and make a conscious effort to share positivity and kindness in the world, because you get back what you put out. Take care and talk to you next time!

Jeremy 🙂

Let’s Talk About Mental Health is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media, helping you find gratitude and meaning. For more information visit reconnaissancemedia.com

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Let’s Talk About Mental Health.
Simple ideas for better mental health.

Let’s Talk About Mental Health. © 2023 Jeremy Godwin.

The information provided in this episode is for general awareness on the topic and does not constitute advice. You should consult a doctor and/or a mental health professional if you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing. You’ll find additional information on the Resources page of this website.